Christmas Post, Volume I

It honestly takes something like 25 minutes to load pictures to blog posts, here. SO I'm going to make a ridiculously long post about Christmas, with all the possible photos I can cram in. It may take 4 hours to complete, and nearly as long to read. If you have better things to do than read this, like trying out your new dental floss or individually cleaning the buttons on your keyboard, I totally understand.  And for heaven's sake, don't feel you have to comment on the whole bucket o' prints!

This is the way to photograph my house...dim, dim, DIM lights.

(Don't be all impressed by the way the lights shine on the floor. It doesn't necessarily mean the floor is clean. There's a good chance the kids tipped over buttered popcorn right there, then tried to wipe it up with a kitten....Kittens make dandy dust cloths, especially when they go poking around under furniture.)

CHEESE!

New pajamas from Grandma Banana, and Maggie is holding her dolly that her great-grandma Margaret gave her. She's so tickled with that doll!

Doll house....*sigh*......she wanted roller skates, but I wanted the doll house.

If you've been to our house, you know we don't have sidewalks or cement of any kind, so she'd have to rollerskate in the house. I don't THINK so!

Perhaps for her birthday...

Mags has decided she really loves the dollhouse anyway, and has been arranging the rooms constantly.

(We also hear her as the Mommy doll, bossing everyone around in the house. Must get that from her grandmothers...)

  I didn't realize it until I talked with one of my friends, but our family didn't have any electronic or battery operated toys this year. It was the year of books, pajamas, pretend play and puzzles.

Here's Angus with his pirate ship, that captivated his Dad as much as it did him!

You'll note the snake on the floor beside the ship.

That would be his father's idea.  Ew.

Maggie had a list, this year, of presents she wanted to buy others. We were very encouraging of that, and took her to Miles to make her purchases.  Her ideas exceeded her budget by a ways, but at least she was thinking of others, kindly, so we helped her.

She wanted to buy me "red earrings" because red is my favorite color. All the earrings they saw at Walmart didn't quite match her idea, so she and Wayland went to Jewelry by Monte, with her $13 wadded up in her grubby white satin purse.  I knew where they went, and how big her budget was, so I wasn't really prepared for the earrings she found for her mama.

I opened the little box and there on a pristine card were two little sapphire earrings.

Here I am, right as the tears started.

Poor Maggie thought I didn't like them, and it took me a minute to reassure her that I was crying because I was HAPPY and surprised!

Here she is, telling me the story of the shopping trip and why she changed her mind about the red earrings.

After the flying paper settled, and the candy wore off....

we read books.

Molly likes to be near us as we read, and look at her posing!

We're reading "The Kiss That Missed", a royal book that we adore.

Another story...this time Daddy is reading.

Christmas morning...

See the Santa, by the t.v.? He's turned to face the wall! Ever since I set him out, I'd find him turned toward the wall, like a naughty child. Wayland finally explained that Angus was examining the presents in his pack!

Maggie, reading a dog book to Molly.

This is how he watches t.v.

Seriously.

We're hoping all the blood rushing to his head will improve his ACT/SAT scores someday, but so far, there's little sign that it's helping....

Twilla B., sacked out on the couch with him.

Did you make it through all the pictures and narration in one sitting?
Good for you! Now go get a piece of fudge, because you must be exhausted, and fudge does a body good. Besides, after January 1, all the treats will disappear until Valentine's Day and you'll be regretting any turn downs you virtuously made right after Christmas....

Merry Christmas From the Farmer's Wife!

This is how God showed His love among us:

He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son

as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:9-10

This is a white Christmas, in Cohagen.

Day before yesterday, we had a frosty fog all day that produced "whiskers" on everything outside.

Yesterday, it snowed all morning and thickened the whiskers! It's beautiful, but so cold it makes your teeth hurt.

Sunflowers

(I know they should've been cleared out last fall, but I leave them for the birds to pick at...sort of...)

My rock wall garden bed catches all the snow...beautiful for moisture in the spring, and picturesque in the winter.  It's my favorite flowerbed!

(And it's currently under those three foot drifts, so you'll just have to picture it in your head.)

I love the golden hour, right before the sun sets. Blues and golds and pink-whites...

The wind makes snow sculptures in the shelterbelt.

(Usually, there are cat and kid and dog tracks through them, so this is a rare picture!)

My blown glass heart, on the trellis.

Here's a very confused, single sharptail who has been hanging around our place for the last week. She floats in, like a feathered football, and perches in the karagana trees, looking quite pleased with herself and picking all the pods left from summer. 

I don't know where her friends are, but she seems content to fluff around by herself.

This picture was taken through my livingroom window, to the north.

She dresses herself.

The temperature was hovering around zero.

She DOES have access to caps, snowpants, mittens and scarves.

In the words of our friend Gus Glasscock,

"If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough."

(We need that on t-shirts for the whole family.)

It takes 15 minutes to dress the boy in all his winter gear.

It takes him 5 minutes of plodding aimlessly in the snow to decide he's had enough.

I've wanted to say, this whole year, that one of the most unexpected, wonderful things about keeping this blog has been making and renewing friendships. My family and I have been blessed beyond measure by those of you who read and respond to the Cohagen Chronicles, either by comments here or comments in the store/post office/phone call/ letter etc.

I wish I could adequately express my gratitude and downright happiness!

Being a typical Dutton, I'd hug all of you, if I could. And don't think I'm not trying to plan a blog-friend picnic sometime in the future! Wouldn't that be just the best fun? Bring your tents, campers and dogs to Montana!

(I'll let you know.)

(My mother-in-law is gasping for air, this very minute, because she just read that.)

(There's a family of boys, in Michigan, packing their bags...)

Love you all, and have a beautiful, blessed Christmas!

Let's wrap it up!

I know this will come as a shock to most of my readers....

I'm sort of wrapping-impaired.

No, really!

There are several things that trip me up, not the least of which is the actual procurement of wrapping paper.  It turns out, in order to have a good-looking package, it would help to actually BUY PAPER. Now, I used to be pretty good at this, B.K. (Before Kids, as though you needed the translation...) I'd look through all the paper in the bins, buying the glossy, classy paper and co-ordinating bows. My packages still looked relatively horrible, but I got marks for spending money on the materials.

The era we are currently in would be D.K. (During Kids or Dang Krazy; either meaning is relevant) and the paper is borrowed. I'm NOT kidding you. Dead serious. I went looking for the Christmas paper today (I know, nothing like planning ahead) and found....a roll of Day-Glo chartreuse-y green stuff that had been hidden under our bed. Yeah. I don't know why I hadn't found it earlier, either...it illuminates the room. Realizing that wouldn't cover all 57 gifts, I pleaded with my husband to requisition some paper from his mom. (She makes Martha Stewart look like a slouch. But that's another post...)

While I was under the bed, looking for the Christmas paper, I ALSO managed to locate a bag of cheap bows that had a decidedly flat, dusty appearance, as though our 23 lb. cat had been laying on them. (I'm quite sure she had, because she wouldn't look me in the eye as I questioned her, and that's a dead giveaway that she had something to do with the flattening.)

It's also helpful to have some Scotch tape.

I found two rolls that showed promise. One had been in hibernation since 2003, (I know this, because that was the date on the newspaper it was with.) but the adhesive seemed to have retained its stickiness.

So, we are looking at 57 presents, armed only with a roll of sci-fi paper, a roll of borrowed Santa paper, 25 flat bows, two (?) rolls of tape and a couple of paper shopping bags I scrounged up, that looked sort of festive. (Meaning: the cat hadn't had a chance to lay on them, yet...)

Care to guess how my gifts look?

I can really get behind the statement " It's the thought that counts".
The TRICKY part is convincing people that I had a thought. 

And, no, I'm not going to post a picture of the gifts. Bad enough I bared my soul in print.

O Come Let Us Adore Him

Don't you love Nativity scenes?

When I was a little girl, my sister and brother and I made a whole set out of salt dough and painted it with tempera paints. Salt dough is a wretched medium to try to create holy dioramas with. As I recall, our figures were shaped rather like flat-bottomed Weeble people. We had a terrible time with their little facial features and decided to fix them with the paint. Tempera paint is a wretched medium to try to repair holy dioramas with. It's bright. It runs like cheap mascara in a humid room. And our Mom loved it, displaying it (to our horror as we hit the junior high years) prominently every year. 

When I was a young, single teacher, one of my students' families made me a tiny Nativity with clothespin dolls on a cottonwood platform. They built the creche with materials they had gathered around their ranch, right down to the lichen hot-glued to the base. Mary and Joseph were robed in felt, and had the most beatific looks drawn with care by young hands, and baby Jesus was tenderly wrapped with soft, white cotton. I cried when I opened it; it was so lovely, all that care for a foolish girl who was learning more from them than they ever would from her. 

When I was a new bride, my husband saw me examining a minescule Nativity in one of those World Market type stores in the mall.  It was the most delicate, perfect little sets that I'd ever seen! All of the figures would fit easily in a grown man's cupped hands...not neatly, but they'd fit.  It was all ivory colored, with darker tones to illuminate the features; simple and elegant.  That Christmas eve, our first together, he surprised me with the little Nativity! I've carefully arranged it every year, astounded that the kings still bear their gifts with no scratches or nicks, and that the shepherd's staff is intact. 

When I became a mother, I wanted a Nativity that my children could hold and feel and arrange. (They aren't quite ready to venture into salt dough territory...)  I found a resin-ish, plastic-ish Nativity scene in the Bible bookstore in Miles City this year.  The tallest of the wise men is about 10 inches in stature, almost Barbie doll height.  They are painted very subtly, in muted blues, soft browns and corals. But then, as though the makers couldn't stand to let them leave the factory with that much elegance, they encrusted them with a clear sort of glitter.  By the light of the tree, they are enchanting! By the light of day, they are border-line gaudy...kind of like women who put on makeup in dark rooms.  Whoa! 

The kids are loving them.  Most days, I find all the wise men, shepherds, Holy family and animals all gathered in a clump around the baby Jesus.  They're all looking in, crammed as close as they can, shoulder to shoulder, robe to robe.  Yesterday, however, it took on a new dimension as the Tyrannasaurus Rex joined the group.  He seemed happy to be there, but there was definitely a menacing presence lurking behind Joseph. We think he was really checking out the lambs, but we can't be too sure. I removed him, but Rex returned, carefully placed in his spot with sticky hands.  (You could tell by the glitter...)

I look forward to the Nativities I'll add, as the years pass.  I'm sure my kids will make some sort of representation and that I'll get tears as I unpack it, annually.  There will be missing lambs, wise men with battered crowns, shepherds that have been given more "detail" and donkeys with the OC brand on their right hip.  And they'll all be beautiful to me, because when I look at them I'll see the people I love and the real meaning of this Holy-day, my Jesus.

The Littlest Angel

My baby was in her first ever Christmas pageant!  She was cast as an angel, one of three, and she was the littlest and youngest on stage.  Maggie has been waiting all her life to be on stage.  Last year, at the end of the play, Celestia said, "Well, I guess that's all unless someone else wants to come up and sing." Maggie grabbed her friend Ben's hand and started up there, exclaiming, "Yeah! Me 'n' Ben!" (It should be noted here that Ben had no intention of going up there and provided anchor-like tendencies to slow her rise to stardom...)

Here's the angel, waving to her adoring fans (Daddy, Mommy, Angus and grandparents) while she sings. Not a drop of stage fright or hesitation in the child. 

They wear the wings with GREAT dignity. You've never seen such serious heavenly host!

Maggie, delivering one of her three lines.  You can see she talks with her hands, just like her mom.

Okay, these horses were just the greatest! The props for the play must've taken days, but they were so worth it.  The horses galloped, reared, jumped around, trotted....but nobody was thrown.

Singing "Jolly Old St. Nicholas"...the entire cast.  See the little banditos? They were raccoons! The students and teacher wrote the entire play themselves, and were able to customize the parts to the cast.  Those two raccoons were naughty, in the play, but quite contrite when caught. 

The other thing I really adore about this play, as well as last year's, is that the Christmas story is read from the book of Luke, within the plot. 

Santa!

I thought we were going to have problems here.  Mags wanted to see his sleigh and reindeer.  It's not good enough just to see the jolly old elf; she wants to have the WHOLE experience.  Fortunately, while we were in the bathroom changing out of the angel attire, Santa disappeared, so she didn't get to corner him on his mode of transportation....

Angus was thrilled to his toes, by Santa.  When he first saw St. Nick, his arms started flapping and his feet were dancing in one spot.  Even after he got to sit on his lap, he'd run over to Santa and give him a hug, whether there was another kid there, or not. 

And, of course, there was LOTS of food. Tons of appetizers, cookies and candy....most of us made two trips, and there was still food left over. Most of the kids just ate staggering amounts of candy, provided by Santa.   

It was really a great evening and I think everyone had a nice time.

I wish you all could've been there!

Not All Fired Up...

...about the Kindle.

In the comment section of the "Rescued" post, my friend Pam brought up the Kindle. For those who don't know about it, it's basically a little computer-ish device that allows the owner to download entire books to take with them.  The big selling points (from what I've read and can understand) is that the downloaded books are cheaper, easier to transport 200 volumes in your backpack, and allows the owner to choose what format to read them in (large print, fine print, making notes by keyboard, etc.) among other things.

I am not known, first of all, for my technological aptitude. It's all I can do to run the toaster, competently, and at the news of my blogging, my friend Traci sputtered coffee and swooned in her chair. "But you don't USE the computer," she gasped. Then, in a moment of reflection, I could tell what she was thinking..."No, Traci, my computer screen doesn't have eraser marks on it, either."  What a relief!

It's not that I'm opposed to technology. I rather like electricity, and I whole-heartedly embrace dishwashers, washing machines and coffee makers that allow me to stumble out at 4:33 a.m. and push a button for sweet nectar from Heaven. AND if I ever have the great privilege to meet the person behind the invention of 4-wheel drive on the fly and heated car seats, I will fall on the ground in gratitude and kiss their blessed feet. (I'm pretty sure it was a woman from the gumbo hills of Eastern Montana who got good and mad about having to get out and put the hubs in, dressed in clothes for church, who invented the 4-wheel drive on the fly.)

Are you still with me?

Pam asked whether I would own a Kindle, all cost aside. (That's a pretty big aside.)

And my answer is....

If I go back to college, maybe.

(Traci just spit coffee all over her computer screen, again....Sorry!)

But I won't own one just to have one. 

1. Technology changes so quickly that they will soon be obsolete....like the first cell phones that weighed 25 pounds and came in their own briefcases on wheels.  And when I say "obsolete", I don't mean they'll be going away, per se. Just that they will be advanced, tweaked, shrunk, changed and pretty soon, the Kindle will be on the pile of "well, it was fun for a couple years", while the consumers get the newer version.

2. I'd never remember to charge it. And that would make me spitting, throw-down, stomping, pseudo-cussing mad, to not be able to read the new "book"  I purchased! AND, invariably, I'd short the dadgummed thing out with my internal electronic impulses and there'd be the most expensive paperweight ($800 device + $350 downloaded, fried books) you've ever seen.

3. Don't you just love the smell, feel and essense of books? Don't you just feel rich, to have them? Isn't it great to find someone's handwritten comments in the margin? How the heck would I share my books? ("Here, Fontie, you can borrow my Kindle...")  You can't have an author inscribe your Kindle, can you? These are questions I can get really sarcastic and cutting on, but I won't.  I'll let you leap to that, yourself.

4. This is a completely dumb thing, but I don't like the idea that not everyone can have them.  I couldn't send a box of Kindles to Africa or Afghanistan to help others. Well, I could, but then a bunch of folks in Africa and Afghanistan would have some expensive paperweights. Or something. 

I can see how they'd be completely life-saving, in college, to be able to have texts and reference materials in one lightweight, portable spot. 

I'm not all fired up to own one, otherwise. 

And I'm not likely to find one in a second-hand store, with mementos tucked into its buttons, unless it's left by someone like me. Someone who couldn't retrieve "Little Women" and tried to get it out manually....

Rescued

(That's a pretty dramatic title for what I'm about to write...)

A couple mornings ago, I was having my coffee and opening my Bible when I noticed how FULL it was getting.  I am easily distracted, like a chicken, and started looking at all the flotsam and jetsam stuffed within the pages. I found, in no particular order: a feather, my brother's engagement announcement, my first Mother's Day card, a bookmark my Mom gave me in high school, my grampa's obituary, the reciept for my dog Molly, my old Weight Watcher's card with my weigh-ins (has since been relocated; don't even look) and other little bits of sentiment and memories.  It's like an informal scrapbook. And sometimes the memento is placed with a particular chapter and verse, but other times it's just in there and moves around like the Israelites in the desert. 

As I sifted through these things, I remembered a Bible I bought at St. Vincent De Pauls a couple years ago. It, too, had little treasures in its pages. I don't know whose it was or how it came to rest on the shelf of a thrift shop. I'm guessing it belonged to someone's bachelor uncle and they had to go through his stuff hurriedly, not taking time to open it, tossing it in the box with his old, threadbare shirts and the out-of-date hat he always wore to the Senior Center bingo and sandwich days.  

The Bible was old and brittle, and must've been cheap, because the pages are rough and thick, and the cover is not a premium leather, by any means. There was no publishing date, so it's just a guess.  In the book of Numbers, I found a crumbling, pink chrysanthemum and a slip of paper with the name "Mrs. Ellefson" written in shaky cursive. In Deuteronomy, there was a postcard from Defenders of America, depicting the USS Canberra, Number 6 in a series of 24 cards from the Nabisco Company. In the First Book of Samel, a little Christmas greeting in the form of a church bulletin, from The Church on the Hill.  Later, still in I Samuel, was a tiny little white cross that looked like it had been cut out of a greeting card. 

II Kings held a proclamation that "Samuel Alexander & Charles D. Penrose Have bought from George Gaullagher his Large and very extensive stock of MERCHANDIZE, (sic) composing a most extensive assortment of GOODS...etc." Within the listing were Irish Popolins, Sarsnett Silks, Bengal Chintz, Straw and Gimp Bonnets, ALSO Brandy, Gin, Molasses, Salt, Fish...and it goes on. Quite impressive! The date on the bottom is August 17, 1825, but I believe it's a reproduction. What an odd little thing to tuck into Scripture!

Psalms revealed a tiny tin star, with the three wisemen painted on it. Isaiah produced a little booklet of patriotic songs, both Norwegian and American. On one cover was the American flag, on the other, the flag of Norway. It was Printed in Norway by Emil Moestue A/S and I dearly wish I could read Norwegian!

I stood there in the second-hand store with this little black Bible, a little sad that no one knew whose it was and trying to picture the former owner. I had to rescue it, of course. 

Now it sits on the bookshelf in my bedroom, with an ancient book of Bobby Burns on one side and a turn-of-the-century volume of Faerie Tales. Quite a little group of literature, they are.  I think they're happy. I love to rescue books and give them a home.

I wonder what my Bible will reveal to my kids or grandkids, when they go through it after I'm gone. (And knowing my kids, I'll just be gone to the grocery store, not dead....) I hope there's more happy than sad, more hope than heartache. And I hope they give it a good home. 

In which the Duttons get together and exalt the blessed confection, the Cookie...

In a moment of insane inspiration, I suggested we all have matching aprons for Cookie Day.

Karen made ALL these!

(Mine is still not cut out or stitched, residing still in it's little Copper Thimble sack. I always have SUCH good ideas....just end up baking instead of sewing....)

We visit a lot, and catch up on everyone's lives. Here my sister Jen and Bonnie are discussing world affairs, I'm sure....

Auntie Jolene, Kamryn and Jentry, decorating the sugar cookies.

They were true artists!

Careful, careful....

Isn't that red pretty?

Maggie's paint horse.

Grammy Karen, enjoying the day.

Auntie Cari and baby Javon, relaxing.

(Secretly, Cari was trying to put her down for a nap....eventually she succumbed, but not without a fight.)

We end up dividing up about 15 different kinds of cookies and 4 or 5 different types of candies, in buckets for everyone.

PopPops gave Maggie and Angus two of his old hats, to their great delight!

At the end of the day, when everyone was frazzled, we heard a bawling from the basement.

I ran down to check out the situation and Maggie was sobbing, "I don't WANT to be a farmer, anymore! I want to be a COWGIRL!" PopPops assured her that she could be both, and she got the hat. She's still thrilled!

YUM!

Bookclubbin'

We are VERY serious about getting wine bottles open. You don't mess around with our merlot.

I wasn't supposed to take any pictures of people (even though everyone there HAD showered AND worn make up...) but this was blurry because of the action, and I decided no harm done in posting...

Our book was Jan Karon's Home To Holly Springs.

Our meal consisted of kraut bierrochs (not sure on the spelling), buffalo wing flavored eggrolls, cranberry/raspberry jello with whipped cream, some sort of phenomenal snickerdoodle cream cheese ball with pretzels, a Greek-style pasta salad, several different types of wine (Malbec being our new favorite), coffee and French Silk pie.

The kraut bierrochs are this sweetish, light bread that encases a filling of hamburger, onions, cabbage, salt and pepper. They are quite possibly the most wonderful thing I've ever eaten. I had two and a half....and lamented that I didn't have room for more.

At one point, in the meal, Clara made the comment, "Isn't everything here just the best food you've ever eaten?" and we all enthusiastically nodded, our mouths being too full to talk politely...

Seven of our ten members made it, and baby Everett joined us, too. He's the best baby I've ever been around, and a delight to cuddle. (We all did our share. His little cheeks were probably chapped from all the kisses.) After the food and discussion around the table, we retired to the living room and sang Christmas carols. I know, it sounds kind of corny but it was really fun! These girls can carry a tune!

The next book is Penguins and Golden Calves by Madelyn L'Engle.

We'll be meeting here at my house, and when it's at my house, I photograph people. So next month, you'll see some of the faces of the Underground Bookclub.

Zee answers...

....to zee quiz from Wednesday:

1. Everyone knew it was (d.). Our heater was broken and I was bakin'.

2.  (a.) Wasn't that an awful question? But I had to give a real answer and all I could think of was Batman. When I was writing the quiz, Pepe started looking more my style, but I had already decided on Bruce Wayne.The original question said no personality or anything could be part of the answer. Honestly, I still don't get the idea. By the way, the question-er was male and he said Ariel or Jessica Rabbit. And he and his coworkers DO need to get busy filing papers or calculating budgets or something....

3. (c.) I'm now the proud owner of my very own tiara! Yes! My friend Shelly read my heartfelt blog post and sent it last week. I adore that girl.  It's old, it's got gen-u-ine rhinestones, and combs to hold it in my beehive hairdo.  I'm still working on that hairdo, but the tiara is in the kitchen and I wear it often. Just ask the UPS man, who was very polite about it, but will be leaving all my other packages in the porch without knocking...

4.  (d.) Penguins and Golden Calves by Madelyne L'Engle is our next selection. It's intelligent, somewhat controversial, and they'll have to work at it; kind of like chocolate granola. The book talks about icons and idols....yeah, in a mixed religion crowd it's going to cause a stir.

5. (a.) In a stunning turn of personality, I decided that I do, indeed, still like frosted sugar cookies the best. They are called fish cookies in my house because Karen Yost and I made them in the shape of trout (I DO have that cookie cutter) and decided they are best that way. Truly. Everyone should try our fish cookies. Besides, by calling them that, everyone else steers away from our favorite confections.

6. (d.) All those things. Christmas trees bring out the best and the worst in me. Do come by for eggnog.

7. (c.) One movie, on Disney's evil FastPlay loop, will continue for all time and eternity until the electricity goes off or said cat accidentally shuts it off. I'm much too involved in writing to actually get up and disconnect the sucker. The kids, bored by the 45 minutes of Disney previews, eventually wander off to their bedrooms to build and destroy towns of blocks. Everyone wins.

Fontie, Country Wife and Lori....Thanks for playing! No one got them all right, but you came remarkably close.  Sadly, I don't have a new purse with fringe or lime green shoes, and the Vermont Maple cookies are a close second.  You all win a small amount of notoriety in the Chronicles. I'll be name dropping this week...

From the vault...

It's not cool to write a Thanksgiving post in the middle of December. But then, I've never been accused of being cool. I HAVE been accused of procrastination, and that, I believe, would be the reason you're seeing our Thanksgiving pictures now, as opposed to when you should've seen them. (The day after Thanksgiving comes to mind.)

Something you should know about us and Thanksgiving....we generally can take any holiday and turn it into a disaster, but Thanksgiving is where we really shine. We've been 10 hours from home under 3 feet of snow. We've had turkey poisoning which actually turned out to be a case of pregnancy. (I say "we". It was me, but the whole family suffered.) We've had turkeys done 2 hours before they were supposed to be. And 2 hours after. We've experienced my sister's attempt at a charming frog eye salad...all 1 1/2 gallons of it. (It was good, but there was enough to feed several families.) You get the idea.

This year, Celestia and I informed the men that we were not cooking or doing dishes, and we made a reservation at the Miles City Town and Country Club for their Thanksgiving buffet. Oh sure, we'd have to load the family up and drive 80 miles, but that's a pretty small sacrifice for soft hands that didn't touch dishwater and potential disaster averted.  There was a little grumbling, but I believe the glare behind our glasses convinced them that THIS year it would be alright. Just don't try that nonsense with us again next year.

And it was a lovely day. No mishaps, no kitchen disasters, no stories to tell years down the road. Rats.

The cooks, all giddy after lunch. They kept coming and taking our plates, so we kept having to start over again at the buffet, because we were going to get our money's worth, by golly, and it was fun to not have to worry about the dishes!

Yes, that's a little turquoise and pink purse in his hand. See? I'm not the only one with eccentric taste in handbags....

We ran the kids around the 16th hole and green, before we unleashed them on the country club crowd.

Celestia and Jasper.

Some family you are born to, some family you meet later in life.

Javon, my little niece, giving me her best baby grin.

We drove past my brother's house, and my Mom was outside with my nieces. They met us at the park for a little playing. Such a nice surprise!

Jentry, my niece, showing me all her loose and lost teeth. Maggie is lagging behind, with only one marginally loose tooth. Jentry's are coming out like Chicklets.

That's it! Next year will be a glorious post, filled with a more traditional dysfunctional Thanksgiving.

I promise.

Pop Quiz

The Farmer's Wife has been conspicuously absent from her blog for *gasp* a week, causing mayhem and malaise in the blogworld and a hole in the ozone, or something like that.  Here is a little quiz to see how well you know me and to hopefully renew your interest in reading my blog. (Leave your answers in the comments. And there really IS only one right answer per question. Really.)

1. The Farmer's Wife has been gone for a week...

     a. writing the great American novel against a 48 hour deadline, which came at the end of a 15 month deadline.

     b. because she finally learned to knit AND purl, and finished a sweater.

     c. decorating the house like Martin Stewart, Martha's redneck cousin.

     d. because her husband was fixing their heater and she was running for parts and heating the house with the kitchen stove.

2. While on hiatus, she was asked (as a Crazy Mary question) who she thought the "hottest cartoon character" was.  Her answer?:

     a. Batman; he's got a great car and scads of money.

     b. Mr. Incredible; I've been there, trying to cram myself into a too-small supersuit.

     c. Pepe Le Pew; he's got style AND he's French. Oui!

     d. Have you been drinking? Who thinks of these things, except people who need more to do in the Lewistown Schools Administration Office?

3. What fashion accessory did the Farmer's Wife obtain, causing great rejoicing in the land?:

     a. Bedazzled Scotch cap; cows and rhinestones go together like broccoli and ice cream.

     b. A new purse, sans animal print but with fringe, cutting edge fashion as usual.

     c. Tiara, (not stolen from the Princess Mags) to wear around the house.

     d. New shoes! Lime green, three inch heels, on sale at Walmart.

4. It's her turn to choose next month's Underground Bookclub Selection. What will she assign?

     a. Confederates In the Attic; y'all NEED to appreciate the Civil War is still going on.

     b. Too Much Tuscan Sun; we could use a little too much sun right now.

     c. The Essential Calvin and Hobbes; not QUITE a graphic novel, but work with me, here.

     d. Penguins and Golden Calves; controversial reading to warm the heart.

5. After baking 8 different cookie recipes, she's decided that her favorite cookie is:

     a. Frosted sugar cookies; classic and artistic.

     b. Gingerbread men; guys with spice are nice.

     c. Vermont maple cookies; portable little maple bars.

     d. Oreos; on sale, double stuff.

6. Christmas trees are:

     a. real, green and always grow in circumference after being put in that creaky little stand.

     b. evil traditions that cause mothers to start drinking leaded eggnog way too early in the day.

     c. beautiful, no matter how they are decorated.

     d. all of the above, and then some. Let's talk later. Over eggnog.

7. How many movies have the children watched, in order to buy enough time to make up this brain-bending quiz?

     a. Two. The Farmer's Wife types fast, once her brain gets warmed up.

     b. None. The Farmer's Wife is a martyr and types while kids climb over her, clawing and fighting like raccoons who ate too many cookies.

     c. One. Only it's been the same one on Disney's *Fast Play* and it will repeat until the cat accidentally shuts it off, batting at the little green light.

     d. None. The children are in the kitchen, painting ornaments for thier grandparents and singing Christmas songs together, sweetly. (Have YOU been drinking? Have you been to our house?)

That's pretty much it, for the quiz.  If you get all the answers right, you will be given due recognition and glory on this blog, and deemed a kindred spirit for life! (Woohoo. JUST what you wanted; to be a kindred spirit with a crazy, stay-at-home mother in Eastern Montana...)