It's a sad state of affairs....

....when flamingos are rustled from the mailbox.

We put new ones down there, but this time they're branded with the OC on the right hip. (I know. I couldn't really find the right hip on the plastic flamingos so I just went for the general area. Flamingo branding is tricky!)

A homemade pie reward will be given for information leading to the swipers of the previous flamingos. 

True Confession #412

I'm tweet impaired.

It's true.

I cannot, for the life of me, come up with anything clever to say in 180 CHARACTERS (including spaces)!
I'm more of a "1000 word essay"  kind of girl, really.

I thought using Twitter now and again would make me a better, more succinct writer. I read Homer Hickam's tweets, which are witty and interesting, and marvel at his tweet-talent!  Will Middlebrooks, a player for the Red Sox, has funny, honest tweets that make me laugh out loud. And my friend Michele sort of says things that run through my brain but I can't get out.

It's probably a great social platform for people who are trying to promote their products or careers.  I have cows to promote, which gets a bit monotonous, and I think my career has stalled as a stay-at-home mom/wife/rancher/blogger.  It's not really the place for me.  I can't figure out the hash tag business, retweets get mangled, can't bring myself to conserve on characters by typing "u" instead of "you".
Seriously!
"u" almost hurts me to look at!

Do you tweet?
Or, as my description says, squawk?

Ick

*Before reading this post, you'd do well to put on one of those little mask thingees and medical gloves. And have a bottle of Clorox Clean-up with Bleach (Kills FLU GERMS!) close at hand.  Don't say I didn't warn you....

We've been smacked upside the head with some sort of evil illness from the depths of hell, this last week. (I say "this last week"...it started Thursday, today is Tuesday; welcome to stay-at-home-mom calendar keeping!)

Fevers, head cloggage, coughing up lung tissue, sore throat, head ache, runny nose, sneezing, REPEAT.

That's right.

Just when we think we're turning the corner, the fever comes back and WHAM! here we go again.

It's so ugly.

We're so ugly.

And I don't even care that I'm ugly.

Except that it scares the kids and the dogs at night when I get up to let them out or give them medicine.

I mean, reverse that....I don't put the kids out.

At least I don't THINK I put the kids out....hard to say, though, with the dose of Nyquil I took.

Hmmm....

I haven't wanted coffee.

My hair hurts.

I haven't run in four days.  My nose runs, but I haven't. 

We've been laying on the couches and floors like a bunch of hung-over Mexican lizards, letting the History channel play what it will, dropping soggy Kleenex on the floor and coughing until our abs ache.

First freezing, then sweating, then freezing, then sweating....

And we can't figure out why the Farmer is putting in punishing hours at the shop, spotlighting with his BFF, going to Jordan for...I think I saw peanut M&Ms and Coke in that grocery bag, under the Robitussin!

Drats.

Empty package of peanut M&Ms and no Coke left in the bottle!

Ah, well....everything tastes like cardboard, anyway.

Even ice cream.

Even French onion soup.

Even enchiladas.

Now...

This isn't meant to be a whine-fest! Not at all!

First of all, it's a warning. 

Do you remember the movie Swiss Family Robinson, when the father flew the black spot of death flag over the wrecked ship and scared away the pirates? This is my version of the black spot of death flag: turn back now!!!  Save yourself!!!

Secondly, I've GOT to get back in the writing mode, here, and this is really all I have to write about this very minute. 

And that's the latest installment from the Cohagen version of Tales From The Crypt...

What HAPPENED?!?!

For some reason, Blogger has gone screwy and I'm SO angry!  My profile (where I put the quote of the day that strikes my fancy) shows up on my Design page, but not on the actual Cohagen Chronicles....no matter what I do.  All the posts show 0 sticky notes on the fridge door on the main page, BUT if you go to the labels, the comments show up in each section.  Some of the labels, however, were messed up! My most recent post is second after yesterday's, and it's not showing a date at all. 

SO....please don't think it was me who flipped out and changed all these things.  I don't know what to do, for the moment, and I'll work on it later this week. 

Maybe with a hammer.