SHMASBO

As a school clerk, I belong to the organization MASBO (Montana Association of School Business Officials) and this week was our yearly convention. I always come home overwhelmed with what I don't know, how I'm going to fix that situation, tired beyond belief from lack of sleep and driving 3-10 hours, depending on where the conference was located. This year was no exception. I keep thinking that someday I'll be one of the ones in the workshops that actually has a clue....after attending for my 5th year, I'm no longer holding out hope for that particular miracle!

Alright, the unwritten rule of the organization is: "What happens at MASBO, stays at MASBO", which makes it sound a lot more risque and exciting than it really is. Clerks think they are being really naughty by having two glasses of wine with supper rather than just one, by taking three free pens at the vendor's table, by adding croutons to their salad, and by flaunting office protocol by daringly putting ALL their handouts in their folders willy-nilly. (Those that know me well probably wonder how I got involved with such a bunch, and yes, I do make them very, very uncomfortable with my lack of respect for boundaries....)

Here's what I learned this year:

1. Karaoke changes people, and I'm not sure it's for the best. I will never again hear "Country Roads", "Ring of Fire", or "I Feel Like a Woman" without thinking of MASBO. You should join the organization, simply for the Thursday night entertainment. It's well worth your $75.
2. In order to correctly maintain employee records, one needs a minimum of 4 file cabinets, 3 locks, folders divided into 6 color-coded sections and a degree in fingerprinting. Let's just say I have a ways to go in this division of my job.
3. The state of Montana is pretty much just one big small town, spread over a mind-bending geographic area. Once I stated where I was from, someone had a friend or relative just up the road. It's true, and I'm still a little astonished by that.
4. I've never seen an organization more fond of acronyms. And I, of course, didn't get the translator guide for them, so my notes look like some very strange language created by Dilbert and I'm going to have to spend more time looking those up. This year it was further complicated by the legislative session, so there were a lot of HB364's and HB542.677's.
5. You can hold an entire room hostage with the promise of a door prize that one must be present to win. If the terrorists ever get ahold of this information, we'll all be done for. People will stay, voluntarily, to see if they win a thermos that will hold 4.5 oz of coffee or a box of monogrammed paperclips.
6. I learned how to watch Mike Waterman make a pivot table, which he already knew how to make, but wanted to catch our group up with the instructor, requiring him to commandeer my computer....very complicated, and I'm not sure I really know what happened, even after we caught up.
7. P-cards: not what you think they are.

I learned more things, but they are pretty job-specific or relate to the secret MASBO code and handshake, so I will mercifully end this report here, and you'll just have to wait until next year for more scintillating installments....

Will you color with me?

Here's a picture of our friend, Homer Hickam, coloring a royal picture with Princess Maggie. (She laid aside her crown for the evening.) They started the coloring process on the deck, but couldn't seem to find a suitable surface on which to work, so they moved inside. Once they were all settled in, on the right page, there was much discussion as to what color crowns needed to be, whether the picture on the opposing page was a bell or a pointy princess hat, and whether there were sparkly crayons when Homer was little. They then commenced to coloring. (You can't rush into these things...)

After taking this picture, I went out on the deck to visit a little, and from where I was seated, I could tell that Homer was getting filled in on topics I shudder to think about. (At one point, Wayland came out and told me that Maggie informed him that her feet were really stinky, and would he like to smell them?)

Bless his heart, he didn't smell her feet, but tonight when I was putting her to bed, I asked her what the happiest part of her day was.

"Coloring pictures with my friend!"

"What was the saddest part of your day, Mags?"

"When I had to tell them goodbye, and didn't get to wave at them leaving. I want them to come back and color again...."

We've been looking forward to having Homer and his hunting buddy, Frank, to our house for supper for a long time. (I say hunting buddy; they are hunting fossils, so in a way, it's true.) Homer is a retired rocket scientist, scuba instructor, paleontologist and author. He's one of the most interesting people I've had the privilege of meeting, and we've been corresponding by email for several years. It was wonderful to be able to finally see him face to face and enjoy a meal together. And of course, color pictures.

We now proudly display his picture of a prince in a gold crown, with sparkly blue eyes, on our refrigerator! And we're preparing to read all the Josh Thurlow books this summer. I can hardly wait!

Thanks, Homer. And come back for another visit when you can; you are always welcome, here.

The Cohagen Kid Rides Again...

He's one tough hombre... ...in his Lightening McQueen pullup britches and fishing t-shirt.

I'm not sure what caliber his gun is. It's a pretty good sidearm for when sisters get on your nerves.
(He mostly just hits her on the head with it.)

If you act like you are terribly wounded, and go through a lot of dying contortions, he likes you better.

You may have to die three or four times before you get it right, but when you do, this is the look you get.

Stick 'em up!

The Cohagen Kid never misses.

Rascal...

This morning, after bottle-feeding the bums, I decided to run back in to the house to get an empty margarine container with which to scoop sweet mix/creep feed. There, perched on the counter, with his arm in the fish tank up to HIS SHOULDER, was my son; looking for all the world like a raccoon who got caught fishing. Guilty look and everything. When he saw me, ready to spank him, he started hollering, "I wanna get down, Mom! I wanna get down!" Like that would somehow save his life, or something. He had put one of his cows in the tank and was apparently trying to get it out when he was caught. I left it in there, and now there are 3 goldfish, 4 silver fish and a plastic Angus cow in our fish tank. And the fish are nervous wrecks, now....

I started thinking, though, that he's remarkably like a little raccoon. He likes shiny things, and will stash them in odd places so that we won't take them away from him. He likes water, and dunks almost everything, to see if it will float, sink, dissolve or soften. He climbs EVERYTHING, and when he gets up high enough, he chatters down at us. He makes the dog crazy. He has little scrabbly, dirty paws, and they get into mischief without trying.

You see?

All that's missing is the mask.

Alright, I'll give it a whirl...

Miss Lori, at the Altered Glass blog I follow, gave me a blogging award yesterday, and the instructions to pass it on. I'm thrilled with the funny little logo! Iit's located right above the French word of the day. (Does anyone try those? I retain absolutely nothing, but I'm learning pronunciation...)

Back to the award; I'm supposed to list 5 things I really love, in no particular order. I can DO that!

1. I love the Lord. 2. I love my family...especially when they are sleeping, like right now. 3. Coffee 4. Books, all of them. 5. I love my friends; I love them most when we are sharing books and coffee. 6. I love Mollie, who falls under family, even though she's a dog. 7. Food; and when I say I love food, I don't mean the stuff you're supposed to eat when you're trying to lose weight...that's not food. I mean with real butter, real sugar, real vanilla, white flour, fresh fruit, corn-fed beef, bacon....you get the idea. 8. I love football. 9. And fishing. 10. I love gardening. I'm not good at it, but I love it. (Yes, I know that's more than 5 things! Did you really think I'd stop at 5? Lists are fun! Remember, I did the 89 Things To Do In 2009....)

NOW for the tricky part. I'm supposed to pass this along to 5 other bloggers, with links to their blogs. Hmmm. Well, here goes... I bestow, with great pomp and fanfare, the Fabulous Blog award to: Farmchicks Frantics, Country Wife, Latte Buddies , The Corry Story, and lastly but not leastly, Moments with Marisa.

The instructions for accepting the award are posted on Altered Glass, so I won't retype them here...I will scramble something up, and ooopsies! there we'd be.

(Oh, and I read a couple of very manly blogs that I think are fabulous, and I DID consider awarding them this, just to see if they'd put a picture of a shopping lady on their sidebars, but that's pushing it....so someday when I find a skull and crossbones or some such thing to award your blog, I'll do it.)