For the very young and the men, let me tell you what these are:
Eyelash squeezers.
That's right. That's what they do. Women (of questionable intelligence) insert their eyelashes into one of these instruments, push the little handles together and it squeezes their eyelashes until they're curled up alluringly.
My mom had some and I nearly pulled my eyelashes out when I was 10 years old, having forgotten to "Open, then remove curler from eye". That's an important step. Really, THE most important step.
I'd forgotten all about this dandy little beauty enhancement tool until I was at my sister's house reading through her health and beauty magazines one afternoon. The little blurb beside the photo showed a before and after and spoke glowingly of its powers to make one look like Marilyn Monroe. I could imagine my eyelashes fluttering like Bambi's, creating a breeze and magically drawing attention from the crows feet located directly beside them.
I NEEDED an eyelash squeezer.
I had completely forgotten why I'd avoided them for 25 years.
Next time I was at Walmart, I hunted until I found some and quickly purchased them, along with some youthful blush. (My friend Elise happened upon me, agonizing in the beauty product aisle and graciously didn't direct me to the spackle three rows down. I love that girl.)
When I got them home, I was excited to try them. Surely I'd gained coordination and some common sense in the span of a quarter of a century. One would think....
Alas....
I could get them to my eye. Once I got my eyelashes to lay in the slot....I was so excited I moved and boop! out they came. Finally after about 4 tries, I got it all situated and squeezed.
OUCH!!!
Little tip for you: It doesn't curl eyelids. Only eyelashes.
And in my hurry to get the squeezer off my eyelid, I forgot to let go, releasing the eyelashes/lid.
(I will omit the words I prefaced OUCH!!!! with. This is a family blog.)
And after that, you'd think I'd throw them away, wouldn't you?
No.
I'm a lot of things, but I'm no quitter where stupid is concerned.
I've been using them daily for a couple weeks now. I still have all my eyelashes and I notice no obvious difference in curl or shape. In which case, you're probably wondering why I continue....
I'm just so darn proud I can run them without self-inflicted injury.
