Giggles!

Another Christmas card you won't see anywhere but here on the Chronicles...
They were tickling each other!

Fat Pete's Fudge

For my friends who like chocolate and peanut butter, together.

(I would think that would be ALL my friends, because the combo is heavenly!)

I don't know who Pete is, but I know why he's fat. 

And bless his heart, he shared the secret with US! 

I'll give you a minute to recover from the swoon...

In fact, go get a cup of coffee.  You'll need it, just reading the ingredients.  I promise you.

Ready?

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 cup butter 4 1/2 cups white sugar 1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated milk 2 (7 ounce) jars marshmallow creme

16 ounces chocolate candy (such as Hershey's®) 2 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips 2 cups peanut butter (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

1.

Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan. Set aside.

2.

Bring butter, sugar, and evaporated milk to a boil in a saucepan over medium heat. Boil for 5 to 7 minutes, then remove from heat and quickly stir in the marshmallow cream, chocolate candy, and chocolate chips, until the chocolate has melted and is fully incorporated. Pour chocolate mixture into the prepared baking pan. Dot the top of the fudge with peanut butter. Swirl a knife through the fudge and peanut butter to create a marble effect. Cover and refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. Cut into squares for serving.

This makes a HUGE batch of milk chocolate/peanut butter fudge, which is good, because if you're going to give it as gifts, you'll still have plenty to sample at home.  As in...you'll have an easy 1/2 lb. after dividing it for the mailman, UPS guy, hairdresser, every neighbor you ever said "hi" to, random strangers on the sidewalk...

It looks like too much of everything, but I'm telling you, it's PERFECT.  

Merry Christmas!

(Now come pick up your sample of Fat Pete's and have a cup of coffee with me.)

For Anne

...because she asked me to put this on my blog.
Actually, she wanted an instructional video, but that would have required me to find my video camera, charge it, figure out a tripod or steady handed small child who is not easily distracted, shoot several takes while talking like I'm on a cooking show, download, edit, figure out YouTube AND write a blog post with that video embedded in it.

Instead, my dear, you got this:

A photo step-by-step that you can access any time in the "foodie" section of the Chronicles.

How The Farmer's Wife Cuts Up A Pineapple

(WAY easier than cutting up a chicken...)

Step One: Gather your tools (sharp knife and good cutting board), a bag for disposing the stuff you cut off, and of course, the doomed pineapple.

Step Two: (It sounds brutal, but it must be done...) Lob its little top knot off and put that in the bag.  You won't be able to finish if you leave it on the counter, a reminder of your heartless act.

Step Three: Halve the pineapple lengthwise, right down the middle.  You should end up with two pieces that look like this:

Step Four:  Cut each of THOSE in half, lengthwise, so you now have quarters, like so:

Step Five: With one long lengthwise cut, take the core and nasty little end off each quarter. (I usually stand it up on the cutting board, then cut downward.  I seem to have more control that way.  Sort of.) Toss the core in the bag with the top knot.  Try not to think about it.

Step Six: Now we're going to score the quarter; first, cut lengthwise all the way to the skin, but don't cut through.

Step Six cont.:  Then, cut across the fruit so you have a nice square-ish pattern.  This is where I make bad jokes about how I can score but the Dallas Cowboys can't.  Anyway.  Moving on...

Step Seven:  (And this was impossible to photograph...I'm sorry!)  Hold the scored pineapple over the bowl and carefully sliding your blade next to the skin, cut all those little squares away from it into the bowl.

Step Eight: You should end up with something like this skin and little chunks of pineapple that look like the little one by the skin.  Don't be afraid to go back and cut deeper if you've left some good pineapple there.  Then, toss the skin in the bag with the core and the top knot. By now you should be hardened to the sight, so you can repeat the whole quarter processing with the remaining quarters.

Step Nine:  In the end, you'll have a lovely blood-free bowl of pineapple pieces that are fairly uniform, a bag of pineapple parts, and it will have taken you about 8 minutes from start to finish.

Step Ten:  Go get the blender, rum and ice...

Voila!