Disappearing Act- This little gem of a game is one my preschoolers have perfected. It can be played either indoors or outdoors. When played outdoors, however, the stakes are higher, creating a more exciting game! To begin with, the preschoolers act as though they are contentedly playing in the sandbox or with blocks. Mommy checks every 5 or 6 minutes, eventually becoming lulled into a false sense of security. This is when the game actually begins. Mommy will begin a project, say, boiling macaroni noodles, that requires her attention for about 10 minutes. No problem, because, as previously stated, they are playing contentedly, right?
Wrong. They have just disappeared. Quietly, furtively, like little skunks. When Mommy looks again...no children. Not even tracks. She aborts the 10 minute project, muttering under her breath. After approximately 15 minutes of frantic searching, she gets the Mule, to check the far-reaching places. This is when the little darlings re-appear out of the doghouse, whining about how there is no macaroni.
The object of this game is to drive Mommy crazy.
Dumb and Dumber- This game is just like it sounds. Mommy is generally looking for a child's favorite pair of shoes that he must wear or dissolve on the floor in a puddle of tears. The older sibling is following Mommy around, offering pointless information about horses or bugs or dolls. Finally, Mommy, in desperation, asks the sibling if she has seen the shoes. Blank stare. Has the littlest child seen the shoes? Blank stare. Are they outside? More blank stares. As Mommy is trying to wrestle unwanted shoes onto the screaming child, the sibling stands up to reveal the missing footwear.
The object of this game is to drive Mommy crazy.
Phone Tag- This is a game that is particularly popular at our house. The children play in their rooms with their dolls and cars or trains, again lulling Mommy into thinking she has time to call her friend and drink her tepid, bitter coffee from breakfast. About 7 minutes into the call, the children start requesting all forms of nonsense they know they can't have, from Halloween candy to fishing poles. Mommy shakes her head no, and continues to talk. The volume rises, and the urgency in the little voices increases....PPLLLEEEEAAASSSEEE!
Mommy pauses the conversation and in the most polite tone she can muster, redirects the children to appropriate toys. Children then start clinging to her, like starving monkeys, not backing off on the petitioning. Finally, Mommy grabs a wooden spoon, still trying to talk, and the race is on. At some point in the pursuit, she will have to hang up, in order to spank the highly mobile monkeys. The moment she pushes the end button, the game is over and the children have won.
The object of this game is to drive Mommy crazy.
I Spy- (Let me preface this game by reminding you that these are the children who couldn't locate their shoes that they were seated upon. ) You can't play this game without something hidden deep, deep in the dark recesses of the cupboard. Generally it is candy from Halloween, two years past, but it can also be the free go-cup from the Stop-N-Slurp, if there is only one left in existance in the world. The preschoolers will tune their sonars to the object, long abandoned by the parents, and start pointing and haranguing. No way. The Mommy is not falling for this trap. More pointing, rolling around on the floor, carrying on. No way. The Mommy knows better. She's played this game before. Daddy comes home and Mommy dashes to the lavatory for the first time in 3 hours. The Daddy usually hasn't been given all the information, so while Mommy attends to the urgent matter at hand, Daddy obligingly climbs on a chair, digs through the cupboard and retrieves the object which can now be pulled back and forth between children, fighting and snarling like badgers.
The object of this game is to drive Mommy crazy.
(No, see, Daddy doesn't go crazy...he goes back to work.)
I won't describe the other favorite game, Quit Breathing My Air, because I referred to it in the post with all Angus' pictures.
6 comments:
Oh, the things I have to look foward to!
These are so fun. To read about, I mean, not endure. You have smart children, though. Good thing they have an even smarter mama with a sense of humor.
I remember those games all too well! Especially PHONE TAG! It didn't seem to matter-if you were on the phone-the kids had to fight at your feet! They may have had the whole house or thirty sections, but the only place to fight was RIGHT UNDER THE PHONE!
I am so glad my children are learning this with their children!
Paybacks!
Oh geez these are hilarious...I'll have to get a copy and distribute...I know I've locked myself in a bathroom a dozen times over the years so I could complete a phone call in peace. I can offer you hope though...this too shall pass...and they'll invent new games "to make mommy crazy".
It's a wonder you're not crazy! (You're not, are you? ha ha). I guess you don't have to worry about them wandering out into a busy street, but wandering into open fields might be worse!
How did you find out that Maggie thought the heater vent was a great trash receptacle?? So funny.
Well, one day I was cleaning up toys and junk that accumulates around here, and I picked up a used (I assume)kleenex and asked her to throw it away. She marched to her heat vent, pulled off the cover, and stuffed it in there. After I got done gaping, I went over to investigate and sure enough, there was all manner of junk down there. I dug it all out, and looked in every heat vent I could find, and it appears that she was using at least 2 vents for trash cans. This is what comes of letting a country kid watch Curious George on PBS....he has a trash bin, we don't!
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