Rancher-ese, Corral Terminology

Some of you remember the first Rancher-ese post, and know that it dealt mostly with general terms that anyone can use.  This post is specific to the corral, and I felt that since there are a lot of wives helping with preconditioning this time of year, a little clarification would be helpful.  Fore-warned is fore-armed. 

Maybe - As in, "maybe we'll work those cows from Jacobsen's this afternoon".  In  Rancher-ese, when they say 'maybe' about their plans, it means 'absolutely'.  When it is something to do with YOUR plans, however, 'maybe' means 'there's no chance in h--l'.

Sorting - This is the process by which you separate cows from calves, cows from other cows, bulls from cows, and (note this) newlyweds from those who have been married 10+ years.  Women will always sort wrong.  It doesn't matter if they draw a big old X with spray paint on the spot you are to stand in the corral, you will ALWAYS be in the wrong spot.  And you will always bring too many, not enough, the wrong number tag, wear the wrong color shirt and so forth.  Newlyweds are easy to spot, working together in the corral (or those couples dating) because you can see cold sweat breaking out on both their faces; her from trying so hard and knowing that she's failing, and him from not exploding and coaxing his little honey to try again.  The rest of us get hollered at, and holler back or throw down the sorting stick and stomp. 

Get around 'em - Sacrifice your body to stop the tide of cows, or the one old crow that is determined to go through the gate.  Take one for the team.  I believe this is also a test of fidelity to the cause and as to whether you will follow directions blindly. 

You okay? - You'd better be, because we have another 60 cows and 113 calves left to work.  This may or may not follow the 'Get around em' command.

Do you think you can handle... -(Fill in the blank at the end of that statement) This terminology is applied to situations where you are being entrusted to a job you are not allowed to screw up, and the only reason you are actually tapped for the job is because they couldn't find any truly qualified neighbors to show up that day.  It usually involves syringes, vaccine that costs $5.00 a dose and has only been ordered for the exact number of animals you will work. You will invariably get the syringe that locks up on the 5th dose, and panic, causing the whole clockwork-like machine to come to a grinding halt.  The man (your husband or father-in-law) will sigh, roll thier eyes, try the mechanism which will work perfectly for them, then hand the dysfunctional syringe back to you saying it's fixed.  It's not fixed, but you'd better make like it is. 

Keep an eye out for...-While you are doing three or four "Do you think you can handle" jobs, you will also be instructed to look for the cow with the speck in her right eye that they saw when we were gathering, OR for missing tags.  (A little note, here: one time I was told to look for missing tags and diligently looked, reporting several.  They went ahead and turned the cows out, without replacing the tags, and finally I queried as to why.  Apparently, it wasn't just missing tags, but a specific tag on specific cows that may or may not have had them in the first place.  I stopped looking.)  You will never see the right animal. 

Count 'em out -Count all the cows as they pour out of the pen into the next pen.  Pick a random number close to the number you think you counted.  Your count will NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER match the male count.  If they have numbers that don't match, they just assume the right number are there.  If you have a different number (which you are guaranteed to have), they will do the sigh and eye roll, and go by their number anyway.  While you are counting out the cows or calves, you are not allowed to raise your hand with your pointer finger, to keep track of the animals.  You must do it solely with your eyes, and if possible, count by two's, even if they are coming through the gate 3 and 5 animals at a time. 

Let's go to the house for lunch -You'd better hustle on in there and get it laid out.  And while they are in the living room, with their stocking feet up, you'll be cleaning up the dishes afterward.  You'll just sit down, to hear the tail end of the gossip, and the Boss will say, "Well, I suppose we'd better get out there and get those cows back to pasture.  They should be mothered up." (I'm fortunate in that my mother-in-law makes dinner, and I don't have to generally work too hard on this.  But occasionally, it turns out this way.)

That's about it, for Corral Terminology.  If you have any other terms that are used your corral, please let me know, and we can add them to the post.