Quotidian

Once again, I find myself dovetailing a post of the Fontologist. We live hundreds of miles apart, have no communication, save the computer and notecards loaded with seeds, (not yarrow) and yet seem to have VERY similar, eerily similar thought processes. And once again, she beat me to the punch on a topic that I've been struggling with. (I HATE to be the follower-upper! It's so...secondary. Kind of like the drum after a joke. Badda-BUM!)

This month, for bookclub, we read The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and Woman's Work. The word "quotidian" according to Webster's means "occurring every day; belonging to every day; commonplace, ordinary" . Well, THAT sounds applicable to my life! Here's a quote from the book that sums it up pretty well:

Our daily tasks, whether we perceive them as drudgery or essential, life-supporting work, do not define who we are as women or as human beings. But they have a considerable spiritual import, and their significance for Christian theology, the way they come together in the fabric of faith, is not often appreciated. But it is the daily tasks, daily acts of love and worship that serve to remind us that the religion is not strictly an intellectual pursuit, and these days it is easy to lose sight of that as, like our society itself, churches are becoming more politicized and polarized. Christian faith is a way of life, not an impregnable fortress made up of ideas; not a philosophy; not a grocery list of beliefs.

Being a stay at home mom, just getting out of bed to face another peas-in-the-fish-bowl moment or mop-the-floor-for-the-4th-time-today thing can be daunting and less than inspiring. A book that challenges me to think of these things as worship, sort of irritated me, at first. Like my cousin Beth said at bookclub, "It's something you need to hear at least once a year, even though you don't want to hear it at all." Drats.

AND I recalled a felt banner that hung in the sanctuary of the little church I grew up in, that gently reminded us to "Bloom where you are planted." Those cheery little homespun platitudes, that are almost ALWAYS right, nag at me, and as I look around, I think to myself, "Well, I'm planted in some dirt, that's for sure. And water from the toilet. A little sunshine and voila! I have all the ingredients to bloom." But sometimes even the humor of the situation doesn't help.

Nearly all of my friends are in the same boat. Do I matter, anymore, except to get the food on and the underwear washed? (Yes, it's that time, AGAIN in my home...) Am I just a mommy-blob? Will I ever know the words to songs NOT recorded by Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber? Am I making a difference? Am I still interesting/funny/pretty/smart? Will I ever be, again?

The truth is, (and this is hard to admit) it's not about me.
Dang.

And IF I'd just get over myself, I'd be a lot happier and probably bloom.
Really.

I've been reading The Message version of the Bible, just for a shake-up, and this morning, I got a pretty good shaking.

Psalm 143:7-10 says:

Hurry with your answer, God!
I'm nearly at the end of my rope.
Don't turn away; don't ignore me!
That would be certain death.
If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.
Save me from my enemies, God-
you're my only hope!
Teach me how to please you,
because you're my God.
Lead me by your blessed Spirit
into cleared and level pastureland.

Dang.