When you start feeling abused...

...make yourself some Paula Deen Gooey Butter Cake and a big ole pot of Sumatra french roast coffee with a generous dollop of heavy whipping cream, and listen to a Beth Moore lesson. It'll pull you right out of those doldrums! And don't give me any whining about calories. You are feeding your SOUL, my dear...calories simply have nothing to do with medicine. (It's true! Go ahead and Google "gooey butter cake and medicine" and see what you come up with.)

Because my friend Traci is feeling sorry for herself, and I believe she has the recipe, but I'm not altogether positive, here it is. Do NOT skimp on the cream cheese or the sugar, sweetie! (Don't you think cream cheese has medicinal properties? It's bound to....I always feel better after ingesting some. Even just reading a recipe with cream cheese brightens my day.)

Gooey Butter Cake

Mix together: 1 box yellow cake mix

1 egg

1/2 c melted butter. (Use REAL buttah, darling; no margarine!)

Press mixture in bottom of a lightly greased 9 x 13 pan.

With electric mixer, beat 1 8 oz package cream cheese until smooth;

add 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon REAL vanilla, and mix.

Dump in 2 cups powdered sugar and blend.

Reduce speed of mixer and add 1/2 c melted butter; mix well.

Pour filling onto cake mixture and spread evenly.

Bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes...until it smells done, and the middle acts fairly set up.

(If you put a toothpick in it, it will come out a little gooey. That's perfect!)

Cool until you can't take it anymore, then cut yourself a goodly portion and put it in a bowl.

Now, spoon some cherry or blueberry pie filling over it, and add gen-u-ine whipped cream. Don't skimp on the whipped cream! You should still have some left from the coffee, but if you don't, whup up some more.

If you feel the least bit abused, after a bowl of this, the coffee and Beth Moore, you probably need professional help. I've done my best, and so has Paula Deen.

Vote for the Book

Our bookclub reading theme this year is Non-Fiction...that's it. It's completely open to whatever we want, after that. I ADORE non-fiction! And I have to have my selection ready for the group by March 12. The big problem being: which of the 10 books to choose? I have it narrowed down to, gulp, 6 books. Hey,out of the original 27 choices, I think this is progress!

I've decided, with Patricia's encouraging comment, to let my blog readers (some who are also Underground Book Club members) choose the book and menu. Here's how it will work: I'll give the title and menu options in this post, then have a corresponding poll widget for you to vote on. If you have reasons for your choice, comment here. OR if you want to remain anonymous in your selection, that's cool, too.

1. Too Much Tuscan Sun-Confessions of a Chianti Tour Guide, by Dario Castagno

Menu: Crostini, spinach salad with weird stuff like cranberries, feta cheese, etc.; homemade pasta, wine, fruit tart.

2. People With Dirty Hands - The Passion For Gardening, by Robin Chotzinoff

Menu: Flower pot-pies, green salad with weird stuff like apples, almonds, sharp cheddar, etc.; veggie appetizers, lemonade, dirt cake.

3. The Rock that is Higher - Story as Truth, by Madeleine L'Engle

Menu: Homemade tortillas, chorizo-potato filling, watergate salad, tortilla chips and salsa, rock-y road cheesecake.

4. Confederates In the Attic, by Tony Horowitz

Menu: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade rolls, coconut cream pie or chocolate cream pie.

5. Why Beauty Matters, by Karen Lee-Thorp and Cynthia Hicks

Menu: Spa food...fruit smoothies, cucumbers to eat and to put on puffy eyes, great build-it-yourself salad bar, beautiful dessert...cream puffs with strawberries, kiwi and peaches.

6. Once Upon a Tart, by Frank Mentesana and Jerome Audureau

Menu: Three onion soup, roasted potato tart with tarragon, sauteed mushrooms and melted gruyere cheese; peach and blueberry free-form tart, baked lemon tart, couscous salad with roasted veggies and sun-dried tomatoes. All recipes from the book, which happens to be a cookbook that I've read over and over!

You see my dilemma. If you want a closer look, I got the pictures at Amazon, and they have excerpts there.

Too much!

Alright, the kids went with their dad to go feeding AND visit the grandparents and I'm ignoring the dishes and laundry. The house is totally quiet, with the exception of that noisy betta fish in the corner....all day long: burble, bubble, slosh!

So I wanted to blog, of course! And all day yesterday, I wrote them in my head. I was eloquent, descriptive, witty, clever....all those things. Today, with no one hanging on me, I can't seem to form a paragraph! But I have a bunch of random thoughts, so I'll toss those out and see what we come up with.

1. I have about 600 packets of seeds, marked in my catalogs and I can't seem to narrow down enough to order any. There's no possible way to plant that many flowers and vegetables without a staff of 6 Mexicans to help tend them!

2. We may have a problem. My daughter says she's from Texas. And when pressed: Cohagen, Texas. Perhaps I took the Red Raider thing too far...

3. Maggie ALSO has a list of seeds to order for HER garden. She likes exotic things, like ruffled kale and kaleidescope carrots. So we have to till up another acre for her crops. And she'll eat them, too, which is the exciting part!

4. I have to figure out where to put an antique upright piano in an already crowded trailer house. And how to prevent young Beethoven from playing it, less than tunefully, all the time. Perhaps it's time to build on.

5. #703 had a bull calf yesterday morning....let the games begin!

6. I have a list of about 10 possible choices for my bookclub selection next month, and I need to narrow that down to 1. Would you all be willing to vote on a poll, to help me choose? I have menus to go with them, if that would influence choice.

7. Guess what we found in the heat vent, yesterday? (No, it wasn't the other 85 socks...) A bigfoot truck, two crayons and a bunch of ponytail holders. And this was because we were stopping Angus from putting the cat down there.

8. I had one of the blog lurkers call yesterday to see if I was alright! I guess the Cohagen Chronicles ARE read by more than my husband and sister-in-law. So, for those faithful readers who didn't get any Chronicles for a week, I apologize...and I miss you, too. I live for the comments. (And that's a sad little commentary on my life, right there!)

I guess that's about it for this morning. Now I'm going to ease back into the kitchen and do dishes. And throw some clothes in the washer. I like to let them get down to their LAST pair of underwear before I get in a hurry. That way the whole laundry process is applauded and given the weight it deserves. You've never seen a more grateful man than one who is staring at an empty underwear drawer, then Voila! boxers appear before his very eyes! (Maybe that falls under the category of too much information. Well, now you have something on the Farmer....)

Puzzled...

I really, really, really loathe jigsaw puzzles.

Maggie really, really, really loves jigsaw puzzles.

"Mommy, will you help me with George?"

"PLEASE?!!!"

Who bought this child a puzzle, anyway? And how did it get into our house?

How CAN he explain....?

I LOVE this ad! My husband will read this post and snort...I've long since ceased being a "sensitive young wife". These days it's more like, "toughened old ball-and-chain".

He's thanking his lucky stars that the heifers are starting to calve, because even though he's going to have to get up every 3 hours to check them, he'll have the luxury of sleeping in the 5th wheel camper with no children or little wifee to pester. Oh sure, it's a hardship, but he can take his laptop and watch movies with guns, car chases, naughty words and manly themes.

I used to get to go check heifers, too, back before kids, and oddly enough, I really enjoyed it. There's just something about being out in the starry spring nights that really is sort of fun. Even though I checked each cow twice, worried I'd miss something, it was good to be part of the calving. And for some reason, I always felt less abused checking heifers than I ever did getting up to feed a baby...still don't understand that.

My job now is to have a big, hot breakfast ready for the returning calver. And there is nothing nicer to find, at the end of a long night in the barn, than pancakes, eggs and bacon, or sausage gravy and biscuits, and hot, strong coffee! It's wretched to sit down to a bowl of Cheerios and Sanka.

I've been promised the opportunity to return to the barn when the kids get older, and I'm hanging on to that. When the old cows start calving, I do get involved a lot more, because, well, they can't keep me away.

I guess that's the latest, from Cohagen! It's been so long since I posted, I probably lost all my readers...except my sister-in-law and Wayland, poor souls. The kids and I are still battling sinus infections and strep, so there's not a lot going on here, except medicine and movies. Even the dog is looking for a reason to go to the barn!

Let's play Silly Me!

Forgive me, I'm a bit fuzzy still, from my cold and the medicine I'm using to combat it. Still can't seem to shake it and my family is about to cart me off to the doctor.

Anyways, I've been trying to sleep it off and sometimes in the middle of the night I get up and go to the couch so as not to wake the one healthy member of the household, my husband. Last night, I threw my pillows on the couch, grabbed a blanket and flopped down. From out of the depths of the couch came a voice, "Hi! I'm Mr. Potato Head! Let's play Silly Me!....AACHOO! Oh no! I've lost my ears! Can you find my ears?!"

Apparently, the little handheld Mr. Potato Head game I bought at the second-hand store for the kids to play in the car was lost somewhere under the couch and my hefty bounce revived him. Well, I wasn't about to turn on the light and dig around in the scary couch innards at 2 a.m., so I just snuggled down and went to sleep. But everytime I rolled over, he would announce his name and want to play Silly Me. Can you beat that?!! And this morning, it really was funny to think about!

Step away from the stove, woman!

There should be a warning on the cold medicine box, right after the "Do not operate heavy machinery while taking this medicine." Something like, "You may experience slight culinery blackouts" or "Cooking while under the influence of this medicine may have hazardous results".

First of all, I'm a fairly instinctive cook. (Translation: doesn't follow recipes well. See #30 in the Farmer's Wife Trivia) My family knows this and doesn't seem concerned; some of my friends are wary...fair enough!

AND I'm stubborn. I decided a few days ago, when I was hearty and hale, that I'd make seafood enchiladas and a sourcream raisin pie with meringue for the family...two of my favorites. (NOT their favorites, but they are good sports.)

Yesterday, I came down with a horrible cold in my chest, throat and head. It's a doozy! I actually think it's a remnant of the cold last week, but I can't prove anything. Anyway, I decided today was the day for the food. AFTER taking some Dayquil. I should've just put the frozen pizza in, like I felt like doing, and we'd all have been better off!

So here's my Suzy Homemaker tip for the day: If you are generally an instinctive cook, and use your nose as a guide, FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR FAMILY JUST WALK OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!

The cats and dogs got a triple helping of warm seafood enchiladas and it turns out I am the only person who likes sour cream meringue pie in this house. Wayland, Maggie and Angus ate PBJ, at my urging, and I went to bed. So bad!

As of 5:00 p.m. , everyone (except me) seems to be feeling fine. The cats look a bit rotund and groggy, but that's probably not food poisoning, it's just gluttony.

Farm kids

*I must preface the body of this blog with an explanation. I never know how the spacing is going to work out, when I add pictures. I've tried all different ways, and am not happy with any of them.

Here are the grubby faced farm kids. One of their favorite things to do is to ride in the tractor, with Daddy or Poppops. They've been closely watching how to turn on the tractor, and put it in gear, so the guys always take the keys with them. Foiled again! I love these pictures and how natural they are....AND how dirty everything is! Do you see how drab the winters are, here? Even the little birds that stay around are tan and gray. I think that must be why I love the color red so much.

Anyway, here are the latest pictures from Montana!

Collecting Recipes Over Coffee...I hope!

I saw this on Kerri's blog and thought I'd give it a whirl. I love soup! (Okay, I love FOOD, but soup is a handy one-pot meal.) If the link from Kim's http://kimandhercoffee.blogspot.com/blog doesn't work, at least my friends will have a new recipe.

Taco Soup

1/2 c chopped onion

1/2 c chopped celery

Saute together with a little butter.

1 1/2 c ground beef

Add to onions and celery, and cook until brown. Drain fat.

Add:

4 cups canned diced tomatos

1 (8 oz) can tomato sauce

1/2 cup salsa

1 pkg taco seasoning

2 cans undrained kidney beans

1 can undrained whole kernel corn

1-2 cups water

Simmer 1-2 hours, adding water as needed.

Ladle into bowls and top with tortilla chips and grated cheddar cheese.

One is the loneliest number!

(With apologies to Shel Silverstein...)

Traci, our "C" had a kid with the flu,
Anne, our "U" had pig stuff to do,
Beth, our "P" didn't want to play,
So I'm all of CUPS that made it today...

We were going to make teacup and high heel shoe sugar cookies and everything, today! And by the time I got done running Maggie to town, running back, picking up Angus, unloading groceries, checking email, loading Angus, running back to town to pick up Maggie, running home to make lunch...I'd burned 2 hours in the car and 45 minutes at home. Mercy!

Next week will be an official meeting, with photos and everything.

Questions Parents Ask

These are deep, philosophical questions that beg to be answered.

1. Why is it that you can buy identical toys at the same exact time, with no apparent distinguishing marks, and the siblings will both want the "desirable one" and cannot be cajoled or bribed into taking the less desirable toy. And I'm talking Happy Meal toys, here. Do they emanate some sort of vibes that only kids can detect?

2. Why is it that my children will poke suspiciously at perfectly good, fresh, appetizing food on the plate in front of them, but pick up, without hesitation mind you, the fruit snack the dog spit out under the table from that morning? Why IS that? I'm thinking of serving their meals on the floor, under the table, on a napkin. Perhaps they'd be better received...

3. Where do children's socks go? I tell you, we've probably purchased 100 socks, in perfect pairs, for these children and we can only find about 15 random socks. Do you think the dog eats them? Do they end up in Abu Dhabi? I think if someone else is using them somewhere, fine; but I have nightmares about someday finding 85 socks in the heat vent, after the kids go to college.

4. Why do kids break everything they set their hands to? Everything!! And don't give me that old Dr. Dobson adage that they just want to see how things work! Couch cushions are no big mechanical mystery. Neither are magazines. Or Tupperware bowls, for pete's sake. I called my mother a couple of weeks ago, in dead seriousness, and apologized for breaking all her stuff. She couldn't figure out what I was talking about, at first, but when she DID figure it out, she couldn't stop laughing...I was totally serious, now.

I think that's about all for tonight. If you have any insight, whatsoever, about any of these questions, PLEASE, for the love of all mothers, comment and share. There are mothers reading this right now that are nodding their heads and saying, "Amen, sister! Preach on!" I've searched all the Dobson and Bombeck tomes and found nothing.

I've changed my mind...

Perhaps I'd rather have the wardrobe from the movie How to Marry A Millionaire...

Maggie and I watched it together, tonight, and we agreed that the dresses are just the most beautiful we've seen so far. She liked Marilyn's red gown (well who doesn't, really) and I thought the white gown was my favorite. You can't see much of it, on Marilyn, but I love the glasses, too!

So many gowns, so few balls, these days....

Mrs. McSweeney

I don't remember where I found this image. In my pictures it's titled "Mrs. McSweeney". Don't you love that name?!!

Anyway, I'm going to have a Mrs. McSweeney kind of day. I have laundry as tall as the four-year old, in each room, and an impressive organism growing, once again, in my refrigerator. I'm one of those people who gets all distracted by making Valentines and reading books my son has pulled off the shelf.

I'm going to close up the computer, after finishing this blog, and not revisit the Cohagen Chronicles for at least 12 hours. It's probably going to kill me. I love reading other people's lives! They are so interesting, compared to my dreary existance!

Just call me Mrs. McSweeney....

Doesn't she sound like the type who would lean over the fence, while hanging up laundry, and get the latest chit-chat from her neighbor, Mrs. O'Malley? And probably a good potroast tip, too.

Class C

Very, very quickly...a public service announcement, sponsored by The Farmer's Wife!

I wanted to get the word out about this documentary about 5 Class C Montana girl's basketball teams. It talks about the total absorption of the community into high school sports in small Montana towns and explores the pressures and responsibilities of the kids who play on those teams. You can get more information about when it airs on www.montanapbs.org/classc/ and I think it's showing March 9th, at 7pm MST. I'm going to try to catch it, but if I can't, I may order the documentary on DVD.

And some of my friends are just now picking themselves up off the floor, from the shock of seeing me promote some sort of sport besides football or Iron Chef. (I think cooking can be a sport, don't you?)

If you've seen it already, what did you think?

Doris Day

Here are the images I found for Doris Day in Pillow Talk. They are not very good, and the only way to truly appreciate the wardrobe is to watch the movie! (I have two copies, if you need one.) So without further ado, pictures for Anne.

Right where we want 'em....

Well, this isn't exactly what we set out to do, having children. But it seems to be working pretty well.

If Poppop Vern doesn't get to see the kids about every 48 hours, he starts missing them. If we get really busy and he doesn't see them for 4 or 5 days, he'll call and ask if he can come get them for a few hours. (I'm not entirely sure he runs this plan through Grandma first....I guess that's none of my business!)

Yesterday afternoon, we got the call! And when that call comes in, there are a lot of happy Pluhars...again, can't speak for Grandma. The kids are happy because they get to go play with Poppop and eat all the pancakes, bacon and candy they want. Mommy and Daddy are happy because we get to stay home and eat all the chips, chocolate and pizza we want, in PERFECT silence! Poppop is happy because he gets to play tractors and tickle the grandkids for a couple of hours with no parents setting unreasonable boundaries.

It's wonderful! We watched a grownup movie from the U.K. called "The Riddle" and ate chips. When Poppop finally returned the ruffians, they were thanking him for the cookies and the pancakes, and laughing instead of fighting. For about 3 minutes. We'll take it! Vern and Naomi are going to Yuma AZ for a week, pretty quick here, so I would imagine there will be a pancake night after that, too.

Farmer's Wife Trivia

This is part of the Random 25 Things I challenged Traci to. I asked my husband if he could do it, and he said sure, but after some conversation, I realized he was sort of missing the point. So THEN, I asked him if he could come up with 25 random little-known things about me. There was a sort of snort, then he pointed out that when I have a revelation about myself, I usually tell everyone. He suggested looking through my blog from the past year and I would probably find the 25! "Surely NOT!", protests the Farmer's Wife. So I looked. And dadgummit if he isn't right! I'm hoping this list doesn't have repeats of those, but I'm not promising anything.

25 MORE Things About the Farmer's Wife:

1. I can't STAND puzzles...not crossword, not jigsaw, not Sudoku...nothing.

2. I love algebra.

3. Blue was my favorite color until I was 12 years old. Now, you'd be hardpressed to find that color in my house.

4. Someday, I'd like to own a forest green restored 1947 Chevy pickup. It's the ride of my dreams!

5. My favorite duck is a cinnamon teal. Do you have a favorite?

6. Anise or licorice scents make me feel sick.

7. Speaking of sick, cauliflower makes me throw up...and YES, I've tried it with cheese!

8. I think I'm a Southern belle, born too far North.

9. I really, really, really love pretty high heel shoes!

10. Three smells I absolutely swoon for: rain in the summer, horses, the back of a baby's neck.

11. I really only like yellow roses.

12. Tim Conway is my favorite actor.

13. I like weird salads...my friends check them out pretty closely when they come to my house for supper.

14. I've become a book snob, SOB! I nearly can't read contemporary fiction! Narrows my choices, at Walmart.

15. My favorite book in the Bible is Isaiah.

16. Cows smell good to me.

17. I like ruffles on my clothes...not everywhere, but a touch never hurts.

18. I once had a mouse in my kayak (true story). Everyone made it out alive, but neither the mouse or I will ever be the same.

19. (If you are opposed to hunting, go to #20) Shooting or hooking my meat is the greatest rush; cleaning it out is the biggest pain.

20. I can become totally, completely, insanely absorbed in gardening...doing it, reading about it, discussing it.

21. One of my biggest fears in life is growing stagnant; spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically.

22. I have an astounding memory for lines from movies and songs, but not for what's in my refrigerator...

23. I LOVE picnics! Even in the living room.

24. If I could wear clothes like Doris Day wears in Pillow Talk, I'd be a happy woman.

25. My favorite sound in all the world is laughter...particularly from my family.

26. Swimming suits are from Satan.

27. I like pie for breakfast.

28. I like waffles for supper.

29. Carol Burnett....comic genius and can bring me to tears, no matter what.

30. I'm not good with boundaries....such as having 30 things instead of 25.

Happy Valentine's Day!

This is my FAVORITE of all holidays! And it has been since I was just little. There are pictures of me holding a Valentine from my Dad that is nearly bigger than me, when I was not yet 1, and he's faithfully given me a box of candy every year of my life. Yesterday, I went to the mailbox and there it was! He was my first Valentine, and probably will always be my favorite. And Dad always signed his cards to me with x's and o's....I look for them!

When I was in the one-room country school, it was a big deal to make Valentine boxes! I remember working so hard on those, and it was so fun to see what everyone came up with. There was great worry over what Valentines to give whom, because I wanted the boys to know I liked them, but in a general "you're pretty cool, for a boy" sort of way. It was very complicated.

I love the paper heart-shaped doilies, the construction paper hearts, the chocolate, the girly aspect of it...everything! Last year I tried to make red pancakes for my family. They were met with great suspicion and I probably won't do that again this year. I think we'll do something with the strawberries.

Oh! And I gave the bookclub girls a little package, on Thursday, sort of as a joke....inside there was a pendant I made, a bodice-buster swoony romance novel, heart shaped glitter and a homemade card. Happenstance would have it that I was able to tailor each book for each person; Scottish lords for my Caledonian friends, artist stuff for my artist friend, Southern Scarlett-type for the Gone-With-The -Wind buff. I'd grabbed a handful of them at the secondhand store without looking, and it was a funny coincidence! Anyway, no one was that impressed with the handmade card or pendants I'd labored over, but they LOVED the books! How funny! We were reading parts out loud and laughing when the hostess's Dad called. She was trying to shush us, but we were having too much fun. Dear me. I wonder what he thought of her bookclub!

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day, full of xoxxoxoxoxoxox's!

Maggie moves out...

Well, she didn't run away again, but she DID move out last night! The good thing about my girl is that she's able to learn and adapt. She decided not to run away, because it was getting dark, but the loft in the playground looked like a great place to live where no one would be on her case all the time. So she packed her backpack up, AGAIN, and her new horse sleeping bag, announced her impending departure and strolled out of the house.

It didn't get quite the response she was looking for. Keep in mind that it was about 15 degrees out, and I was already pretty peeved with the child. I told her to watch out for wild animals and wished her well.

Here are the pictures of her hideout. She's TOTALLY mad that I was amused! And get this: she managed to tough it out for about 20 minutes. She's TOUGHER than her mama, I can tell you that. After a decent time for us to miss her, she came and requested help packing up, and apologized for her snottiness. And saw the chips and sandwiches on the table, and suddenly remembered that even though she'd seceded from the union, she'd not packed hardtack.

All is well, now, but I had to tell on her. And for heaven's sake don't give her a lantern for her birthday, or she'll be gone....

Travel MUGS

It just occured to me that all the official members of CUPS had a week off! The Perpetual Hostess, Anne, stayed home and slept in. (RIGHT! She has a 10 month old baby...do YOU think she slept in?) Refreshment Provider, Traci, came to the meeting, but because the GrandCup wanted to make a special dessert, she was off the hook, so to speak. And the Activity Director/Secretary is submitting her report, but we didn't have any activities!

It had been a sick week for the members of CUPS, so it was a real treat to just show up and have a GrandCup fuss over us! And fuss she did. You see the picture of the chocolate cheesecake? (That would be the cheesecake BEFORE we tore into it...) We had REAL whipped cream, for the cheesecake and the coffee. GrandCup is trying to reach goal in WW, so she didn't partake, but we ate her portions, too.

We sat and visited and looked at all the quilt-y projects she has going. The time went really fast, and we had to pack up early to make it to the preschool Valentine party in town. We were there long enough to exchange germs from each sick household and get our chocolate and cream fix. Oh, and the missing CUP called and expressed regret at not being there, but we didn't take her any cheesecake. This is a tough club. Be there or be square.

Next week, we will be meeting at the regular place, regular time....and I'm going to work on a doozy of an activity!