I'd Clean My Oven For You

In the last couple years, there have been reverse-snob remarks and memes that proudly proclaim that "you're the friend I'd have at my house when I'm wearing yoga pants with my hair all a frizzle and the dog is throwing up on the hall carpet with the kids stringing up their stuffed animals and the toothbrushes by the kitchen sink."

Well, isn't THAT a complimentary picture?!

I understand that the idea is that we'd be good enough friends that you'd forgive that sort of thing and roll with it, but I just can't go down that road. 

My dear, if we are truly good friends....

I'd clean my oven for you.  

You won't have to look at that coffee cake and wonder if some black remnants of meals gone wrong in the past have sifted down while it was baking.  

I love you that much.

I'd shower for you. 

I may not have time for that sort of "luxury" today because I've been moving cows with my husband all day, the kids are whining because they're HUNGRY (again. still.) and the dog is looking ill, but I'd do it for you.

I love you that much.

I'd make fresh coffee for you.

Even though the coffee in the pot is perfectly good; it's three hours old and the charm is gone.  There are grounds in the bottom of the cup I poured 15 minutes ago.  It's tough.

I love you that much.

I'd find a clean hand towel for you.

They're at a premium some days.  I think the Farmer thinks they're "rags" because we haven't bought a new one since we got married 15 years ago and these are looking rahther shabby.  The kids used two of them in the maternity box with the last batch of kittens we had.  But I'd find one for you.

I love you that much.

I'd clean off the front seat of my car for you.

It's the "junk drawer" of automobiles....with my fencing gloves, homework slips to sign, a couple water bottles, four-leaf clover earrings, sombrero from the fiesta two years ago...  

I'll sweep it off for you.

I love you that much.  

I'd dust the t.v. for you.

I'd bring out the real china for you, not just the Chinette.

I'd blow dry my hair for you. 

I'd sweep the deck for you.

I'd make the pizza dough that takes 36 hours to cure.

I love you that much.

(If you were at my house and NONE of these things were done (except the fresh coffee), please know that it wasn't because I don't love you.  It was because I just didn't have time.  

Was the bathroom not a place you contemplated your last panel of shots?  Love.

Did you feel comfortable going barefoot in my home?  Love.

Homemade cookies?  Love.

Big hugs through tears? Love.)

I don't want to get to the point I don't invite or welcome people at my house because it's not "perfect" or because I'm not "perfect", but I want you to know that it's sort of a big deal if...

I'd clean my oven for you.