I can't fold paper.

It's true.
It's too mechanical for me.

(My friend Traci is laughing out loud, right this minute, because she knows this to be true...)

I wanted to make origami cranes to hang in my windows in January, because I think they're cool and also...there's nothing to celebrate until we get to Bobby Burns birthday!  I bought the origami paper, printed off the directions from the computer, went to a quiet corner and carefully started following the steps, reading them out loud to make sure I got it correct.  (You know, folding from right to left is tough....for someone who can't find her right leg during yoga.)

I had some cool little triangle-y shapes, but when it came to folding the legs out, there were none.  NONE, I tell you.  I could fold it over and make it look like a Kermit-thee-Frog (sic) face, but I want cranes, not a Muppet.  Waaaaaahhhhh!

I can't put specific LEGO structures together, either.  Even with the directions.  Some sadistic, vengeful person bought my son a Pirates of the Caribbean LEGO set for Christmas; it makes a little castle, two carriages and I don't know what all.  All the parts are specific.  The carriages ONLY go together a certain, special way.  I don't have a clue what that way might be, even WITH the instructions laying in front of me. 

It makes me want to throw the whole thing against the wall after struggling with miniscule parts for 40 minutes and coming up with....a one-wheeled carriage. 

My kids don't ask me to help with anything anymore.
They wait for their father to come home and then rush him with projects like opening the secret drawer on the magic box, rebuilding LEGO structures, putting together Barbie outfits...

I don't know where the short circuit is, because I think I am trainable.  I can learn a crane if someone shows me.  I can make gingerbread houses that stand up and have square corners and everything, as long as I don't have to look at a diagram.  But hand me a step-by-step chart for making Jello blocks and I'm lost.  Was that hot water first? 

*sigh*

Anyone else mechanically challenged?
Is there anyone who knows how to fold an origami crane that would like to sit beside me and teach me?  I still want those cranes!