Fitted sheets give me FITS!
Is there anyone out there who can actually fold them neatly to where they behave just like the flat sheets?
I've tried everything....all corners tucked together nicely, sides folded in to make more of a square, put it together and whatta you got? STILL a wad of 500 thread count Egyptian cotton!!
They poof. They are contrarily fat on one side and thin on the other causing the pile o'sheets to lean and the well-behaved flat sheets to plummet to the closet floor.
And getting them on a mattress is nothing short of aerobic. Three corners usually go on without incident. Before I attempt to tackle the fourth corner, I take a deep breath with my hands on my waist, and pray that the sheet will not see me coming, magically slipping over that last corner of the mattress.
It always tries to sproing. And once it shows such insolence and disrespect, one of the other corners notices and tries to slip off the mattress, too. I usually end up all red-faced, huffing and puffing and then pummel the pillows as I encase them, in the pretext of fluffing them.
So here's my solution. (Patent lawyers and those dear souls married to them, take notice. We'll make nickels on this idea...)
Why can't we have flat sheets with drawstring corners?
When we fold them, they'll be flat. When we lay them on the bed, they'll be flat. We pull the string....voila! sheets that stay put AND that are adjustable!
And that's how I spend my time; thinking of things like that.
(My other invention is self-vacuuming floors....mesh under the carpet and you hit a switch...vroooooom! The dirt gets sucked the OTHER way, into a vent system and out. Of course, we'd have to be sure the cats were out of the room when we hit the switch....)
9 comments:
OK. WEIRD! I have totally had the vaccume thought too. I imagined trays that you'd empty that slide out the side of the house...but that seems awfully cumbersome, so your vent idea would work better. Know any engineers?
And I just roll my fitted sheets into a ball. Or put them back on the bed. When they sproing off, it means its time to change them.
What I hate is the NON-fitted sheets in hotel rooms because if you sleep more than a night, no matter how politely you sleep, the sheet needs to be fixed.
Martha Stewart had a whole article about folding fitted sheets. I lost my copy of it though. Bummer. Still big ol' wadded up sheets in my closet...
Alice, I HAD that article!!! And it didn't help. I'm not coordinated enough.
Michelle, I take GREAT comfort in the fact that there's another person with a brain wired like mine. I don't know any inventors...of course. But I do know a patent attorney.
The sheets I have gotten over. I place one set one direction and then put the next set the other way with the fat side to the opposite. Clear as mud I know, but it keeps them from leaning and if they lean, the closet is so full, where can they go???
BUT, I LOVE the idea of the vacuum under the carpet. Patent it would ya! I am more than ready!
Mary, I think you have something there! I actually bought sheets with the elastic all around the fitted sheet (not just in the corners). THEY ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLD!
I do love your word "sproing". I can relate to that word! The vacuum thingy, Just so it gets cat hair! That is the true test!
I have your answer Mary! My mom is by far the best fitted sheet folder ever! Her linen closet is always so neat and orderly and her fitted sheets are folded so flat that you can confuse them with the folded flat sheets. Ask her for a lesson sometime and I also need a refresher course as well!
I think you're on to something! I'd buy your sheets for sure. You must get a patent!
By far, my hardest chore of all, is putting the sheets on the top bunk. I HATE that job. By the time I've wrestled them into place, I'm usually a sweaty mess, with static-y hair and wrinkled clothes. I think to do this task well, you need to be proficient in both yoga nad taekwondo. I am not.
Oh, and I have an answer for folding the fitted sheets. I don't. I only have one set of sheets, which I wash and put back on. Walla! Problem solved! (I do have some extra sheets in the closet which never get used... I have no idea if they are folded well or toppling. Since I never look at them, they give me no grief.) :)
Just stuff both the top and fitted sheet in the coordinating pillow case and hide in a closet. Fold quickly first if it makes you feel better.
This drawstring ideas has potential...
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