The Reluctant Homemaker...

So, have you ever noticed how it's a lot easier to tell on yourself than to have others talk about you? Or maybe you don't have that problem, because you're a little more pulled together than the average bear.

I'm going to tell on myself. But first, you may need a little background. (Some of my friends and family already know where I'm heading with this, and they just went to get a couple Tylenol and a cup of coffee. We'll pick them up later...)

I love the 1940's-1950's housewife images! You know the ones; the mothers with the immaculately set hair, lipstick, perfectly pressed full skirt, apron, heels and potroast. Deep down in my soul, I long to be one of them. In reality, I'm the anti-housekeeper. I don't MEAN to be! There's just something in me that never gets around to cleaning the crevices in the refrigerator door, because I'd rather be making homemade valentines. There's nothing about waxing the kitchen floor that causes my heart to thrill. I usually end up reading Dr. Suess to the kids on the floor of their room, instead of washing down their walls.

And I DO love making the home a comfortable place to be, and I DO like a clean, pulled together home. I just never seem to be able to do that and get other things done, too. My poor husband came from the land of waxed floors, alphabetized spices and regularly shampood carpets, and I know he suffers.

Here's what happened:

I washed a load of "whites" and they came out bright blue. All of them. And now, they are hanging on the clothesline as a testament to my unhousekeeping. Apparently, there was a length of blue fabric in the bottom of the washer that I had put in, intending to wash with jeans, and at the last minute, did a big old switcheroo with the loads. All my white dishtowels are now a soft, bright blue. And they ARE kinda pretty! But not white anymore.

As I was hanging them up, I thought of two things. First of all, my friend Mike W. (Lord Master of the Universe) told me that he needed someone to call him once a week and tell him, "You're an IDIOT!". And I think I need that call, too. (If more than one of you volunteer, you'll have to go on a weekly rotation, because I can really only handle ONE call a week.) Incidentally, I did give him a call, the following week, and after his 3 minute spiel about who he is and what his job is, I told him he was an idiot. I'm not sure it was appreciated. He didn't really think anyone would do that...

Secondly, I should be more embarrassed and concerned at my un-housekeeping. I need to try harder. I need to pay closer attention. I need to be a detail person....on the right things. After all, this is my JOB, for pete's sake! Just because the Scrubbing Bubbles are supposed to get all those little dirty spots, magically...they just don't.

Well, now my jeans are actually in the wash, and I checked closely to make sure there was no bleach anywhere in the vicinity, but they'll probably come out with rust spots or some other blight. So I'll hang them out next to the blue towels, and hope there's nothing red in the NEXT load....

Do you have any housekeeping tips for someone who just doesn't get it?