Beauty Forecast

I checked Weather dot com this evening, to see what sorts of surprises lay in store for us this week.  In Montana in July, it could be anything from snow to 100+ degrees; or both in the same week.  As I was waiting for the page to load, I looked at the little blurb of choices at the bottom and honest to goodness, cross my heart, here was one of the choices:

NEW! Beauty Forecast!

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Have we gotten so dependent on the computer to tell us everything that we can't do simple deductions from the weather forecast? For example:

Winds gusting 10-20 mph = bad hair
70% chance of precipitation = runny mascara AND bad hair
Humidity 60% = deodorant failure
High temperature -20 F = hat head and blue extremities (not just your eye shadow, girls)
Tornado warning = who CARES what you look like, get into a basement with your curling iron and makeup bag, for heaven's sake!

The other thing that came to mind is that there is no way to forecast personal contingencies beyond the basic weather.  e.g.:

Colicky baby = black bags under eyes that no concealer can touch
Branding = farmer's tan (not attractive with a tank top the next day)
Overflowing tank in farm truck = muddy high heels, grrrrrrrr
Broken dryer = damp, slightly wrinkled apparel

And so forth...

I can pretty much fortell this stuff on my own, without the help of the Weather Channel. The beauty forecast is usually pretty dismal before I've had my coffee and a shower....