Cohagen Chronicles

(Dutton Crest. My Grandma did extensive research on the medieval origins, and this is what she came up with: "William the Conqueror led the Norman conquest of England, defeating the English at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. He expelled the clergy from the English churches, replacing them with Normans or other foreigners. To add insult to injury, he insisted that French be used in the courts and in law proceedings. He ordered the French language to replace the use of English in schools.

Six Dutton brothers accompanied their uncle, Hugh Lupus, into England in the train of William the Conqueror, who was their great-uncle. They were: Nigel, Geffry, Odard or Huddard, Edard, Horswin and Wolfaith."

At least we weren't descendants of old William the Conqueror...)

Just got back from the Dutton Family Reunion, in Miles City, last night, with some tired, tired babies. Usually, the reunion is held in the Lewistown area, at Camp Maiden, but for reasons I'm not entirely clear about, we had to find an alternative site, so we went to the CowTown.

Dutton reunions are held every two years. We started out, every 5 years, I think, but then the family decided that since some of the older members were dying off (I know, isn't that terrible?) that we should have them with a little more frequency. That, and I think we all just like each other so much that we really wanted to see each other more often. We would've ended up getting together that often, anyway, so may as well just make it formal. We have them on the odd years, because, as my cousin Connie so eloquently put it, "It's so appropriate..."!

If you ever accidentally stumble upon of one of these gatherings, or marry in, or take a National Geographic job documenting the nuances of English/Irish families, here are some things you might observe:

1. Huggage. Duttons hug everyone. They will hug you if they know you, they will hug you to get to know you, they will hug you if you stand still for 3 consecutive minutes in one spot. This is one of my favorite things about my family, but one of the most distressing things for my husband, who professes to be allergic to hugs. He has been known to walk around the Dutton reunion with a cooler of water/beer/juice in front of him, in order to not be hugged. It doesn't matter. They hug him from the side, and he can't fight back.
2. Nicknames. We all have them, we all use them, and some of us have forgotten what the actual, legal name of some of the cousins are. This also is distressing to my husband, as he will be introduced to, say, Peaches (whose real name is Margaret), then later someone will tell him about Margaret (who may or may not be Peaches, as about 30 Margarets actually are floating around) and he's completely confused. Speed's real name is Roy, Dittie is Dorothea, etc. Sometimes, in lieu of a nickname, you will have your middle name used in conjunction with your first name....Carl Lee, Mary Margaret, and so forth. Tricky.
3. Storytelling. I assume this comes from Grannie's side of the family, but I'm not sure. You can almost always pick a Dutton out by the story he tells. Great mimickry, attention to funny details, caricature and good build-up in the plot. They aren't picky about exact dates or facts, most of the time, which drives my Grandma (married in), crazy. And sometimes, they are laughing so hard at their own stories, it takes awhile to finish.
4. (This pertains to the women...) The Dutton butt. Yes, you read that right...the Dutton butt. Dutton women are amply endowed with wide rear ends. My cousin, Cynthia told me that one of her sisters (to remain un-named) said it was like going to a pear convention. I just about fell out of my chair laughing at that! It's true, and it's WONDERFUL to spend two days with a bunch of women with butts as large or larger than yourself, hugging on you and telling you that you look good. Bless their hearts!
5. Admiration for each other. Aunt Bert once told me that one of the things she loved about the Duttons was that they are just so proud of each other.
6. Teasing. I thought all families teased, but they don't, I guess. My family is TERRIBLE about teasing, and the more they like you, the more they tease you. This, too, can be distressing for those dear ones that marry in. And it's not malicious teasing, but sometimes rather sarcastic and occasionally dry.
7. One doesn't marry OUT of the Dutton family, others marry in. I am considered a token Pluhar, but a true Dutton. I don't know why. My husband married in. He just donated a new last name to the list, and two beautiful new little Dutton children. And he gets teased mercilessly. They really like him.

*AND The Farmer missed this reunion...something about hauling hay, looking at a trailer at the neighbor's place, checking wells. He came up with a myriad of reasons.

We are returning to Lewistown, in two years, and I'm looking forward to it. The kids should be old enough that I won't have to herd them around all the time, and I should get some good visiting in. And the Farmer will be required to attend, so he'd better get his game face on!