H2O

The annual Water Babies photos that you all wait for are here!

They tell the story better than I ever could...enjoy!

*Note: These children DO have swimming suits AND regular clothes.  And I encourage the use of garments.  However, by the time I'm aware of the goings on in the sprinkler or calf trough, it's usually too late.

For kids who don't wear clothes, they sure make a lot of laundry, though...

Shoe-veniers 2011

Some of you know that every summer I go to a summer conference for school clerks and business officials to learn about such fascinating things as GASB 54, indirect costs, reportable compensation, garnishments(Which have nothing to do with food, sadly; garnishes do. A distinction that I will remember from here on out...) and if we're really lucky, pivot tables.  I adore pivot tables.  I ask for them every year, on the evaluations.  I get a pivot table class about every 3 years.  This proves that they DO read the evals, OR that it's good to be friends with the president of the organization, pictured here:

Yes.

That's our fearless leader for 2010-11; he's now a MAS-Been, a PAST President.

(Incidently, I DID ask for permission to post this picture and recieved a rather ambiguous "I won't give you permission, but I won't forbid it...")

Usually, what happens at MASBO stays at MASBO, but this picture was too good to sit on, you know?

The theme of the conference was based on our Thursday evening entertainment, a Beatles impersonation band, Imagine. They wore dreadful wigs, brilliant costumes, used horrible British accents and were GREAT singers and entertainers! Look again at the picture above and you'll get an idea of the wigs.  Dear me...

Anyway, that's all you get about THAT.

The other thing I do, when I go to summer conference, is to buy shoe-veniers.  It started when I went to my first conference in Butte and had nothing to go with anything.  (Does this sound familiar? Twenty pairs of shoes and nothing works! *men rolling their eyes, thinking of their three pair: brown, black and tennis*)  I found a pair of very sensible red thong heels that go with everything!  But it was so much fun to get shoe-veniers that I made it my own little tradition. 

This years shoe-veniers?

Behold!

When I wear them, I'm six foot tall and bullet-proof.

Aren't they the bomb?!?!

*men rolling eyes, etc., etc.*

Every woman should make it a point to get shoe-veniers, at least once a year! 

And that's my report for MASBO Summer Conference 2011.

"Do you have chopsticks?"

A week and a half ago, I took the kids to Billings to go swimming and visit our friends Shannon, Jessie and Nicky Bray.  We stayed in a motel, splashed in the water for hours, ate pizza, visited until midnight, splashed again...such fun! 

It was sad, to say goodbye in the parking lot, and as we were pulling out, I asked the kids where they wanted to eat.  They were sort of half-heartedly tossing out chicken nugget places and NONE of us wanted to go to any of them.  Maggie asked me where I wanted to eat, and I said, "Someplace different...maybe Chinese."   There was an eruption of delight in the backseat!  YES! CHINESE!!!

My kids have never eaten Chinese, but they were certainly ready to give it a go. 

We were on the West end of Billings and the only Chinese restaurant I know of in that area is The Jade Palace; I was pretty sure they had a buffet, so that's where we went.  The Jade Palace is charmingly built in the style of a big old pagoda, stone lions out front, round doors in the entry; it looked EXACTLY like what they thought a Chinese restaurant should! 

We skipped across the parking lot, and Angus trotted ahead to open the doors for us.  It was all he could do, because they were HEAVY, but my little man finally got the first door open and held it as Maggie and I entered.  He was so proud!  I was so proud!  Maggie was unimpressed, because it was taking entirely too long to get into the building...

When we finally made it to the counter, the kids put their sweaty little paws on it, with noses between and excitedly asked the host, "Do you have chopsticks?!".  The host was a Chinese gentleman about 65 years of age...very solemn...and he confirmed that the restaurant did, indeed, have chopsticks.  Maggie then put her hands together in front of her face and bowed to him.  Oh, yes.  She did.  He was startled, as was I, and once we'd recovered, he showed us to our table. I told him, on our way, that this was the first time my kids had had Chinese; I'm sure this came as no surprise.

Took us awhile to get to the table, because he seated us about 1/2 mile from the counter; as far away from him and any other potential customers as possible.  This suited all of us, because I truly had no idea what to expect from the kids.  Before we sat down, Maggie once again did her rather dramatic Chinese bow, and this time she got a slight one in return.  Oh, dear...

We had the buffet, of course, and the kids were very brave, trying nearly every dish.  They were particularly entranced with the sweet and sour chicken and the green jello in the salad bar.  Bright, shiny, colorful; Chinese food is fun!

Back at the table, they tore into the food with chopsticks, impatiently moving forks to the side.  Angus stabbed and Maggie scooped.  It was so entertaining for me to watch that I didn't eat much right at first, although the food was pretty tasty...in a generic way.  Angus had noodles all the way down his shirt, sauce on his chin.  Maggie fought with the rice.  She loves rice, but this rice wasn't sticky enough to grab or scoop with chopsticks, so she finally had to resort to a spoon, much to her disappointment. 

The waitress we had was very kind and at the end of our meal brought not only the requisite fortune cookies and tea, but also take home bags for the kids with 5 more fortune cookies each AND take-home chopsticks!  Thrills!

Maggie took the fortunes very seriously.  Hers said she was destined to be a leader of some sort. (As if we didn't know that already!)  When we ran errands, later, she informed anyone who would listen that she was going to be a leader but she didn't know of what. Hmmm...

When we went to pay the bill, the seating host was oddly nowhere to be seen...
Very curious....

We took time to visit the stone lions out front and I thought to take a couple pictures with my phone.  I wish I had done that inside, but in a way, it was more fun to just experience the whole thing without stopping to do that. 

One of the lions had a red, rubber ball in its mouth that they couldn't get out.  Maggie made up several stories as to how it got there and Angus was really hoping for blood of some sort, but nothin'.

For Marisa, with much love...

Here you are, my dear friend.  The world's best sugar cookie recipe that I've been jealously guarding, thinking that maybe if you knew how to make these at home on your own, that you wouldn't need our friendship anymore! 

I remembered, this morning, that you are now the mother of an infant and a toddler, and that these cookies were MY medication during naptimes, along with a large cup of thick French Roast coffee. 

Use it for good, and not evil...

Anyone who holds this recipe and perfects the making of it, surely holds great power and sway with others.

And now I pass the power on to you!

(And, it would seem, the other 70 readers of the Chronicles...)

Not-So-Secret Sugar Cookies

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream together until smooth:

1 cup REAL butter, softened

1 1/2 cups white sugar

Add and beat until light:

1 egg

1 teaspoon REAL vanilla extract

Gradually blend in well:

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder

Roll rounded teaspoons of dough into balls and roll in granulated sugar, as you would for a gingersnap.

Place on ungreased cookie sheets and bake until JUST done.

(THIS is the tricky part, and where I can't help you...you just have to figure it out.  The recipe says 8-10 minutes, and that's too long.  They have to be just barely done, crinkled on top, but not yet golden on the edges.  If you bake them until they have a hint of gold, they'll be too done.  These cookies are best when chewy, and that takes a while to figure out with your oven. As you know, I go by smell...when I can just smell the sugar cookie essence.  It's tricky.)

(Sadly, you may have to make recipe after recipe to figure this out...)

There now...wasn't that easy?

After a while, you can make them from memory, which is handy when you go to a friend's house and need to do an emergency sugar cookie intervention/infusion.

Makes 4 dozen / feeds 2 moms who get together for coffee and sanity.

 

WANTED

We interrupt the regularly scheduled journalism to bring you breaking news of a fugitive that was on the run this morning, around 6:00 a.m.! 

Investigation revealed extensive damage to the Farmer's Wife's garden:

WARNING!

Some of these images are graphic!

If viewers are gardeners, these images may be disturbing; continue on at your own risk!

The trail of incrimination...

 Discarded pea plant...

She's fond of peppers, not peas, as is evidenced by the hasty spitting out of the pictured foliage!

 Distinctive hoof-prints!

Ravaged beets! Again, not the pepper plants she was seeking.

Baby bean plants, killed in the early stages of their young lives....how brutal! 

All that remains of my peppers...

*sniffle*

Lily Ann escapes her pen at least once a day, generally at night, pillaging and destroying vegetation. 

She shows complete disregard for any fences or boundaries, as well as marked disdain for anyone that is not carrying a big old jug of milk.

Should you encounter this rascal, do not attempt to approach her!  (Particularly if you smell like pepper plants.)  Contact the Farmer's Wife, immediately!

A reward of 4 dozen cookies (your choice) will be furnished to anyone giving information leading to the apprehension of this bovine rapscallion! 



Once a year, we're fortunate to have our friends Homer Hickam and Frank Stewart join us for supper and a big visit.  This year was an even bigger treat, because Homer's wife, Linda, joined us, too!  This was the first time Linda had been to Garfield County, I believe; a beautiful time to see Montana, all lush and green.  They'd been in the field looking for fossils all week and were leaving the next day, so it was sort of a time to flop down in the deck furniture and relax. 

First, presents all around!  We gave them little Montana gift bags and they brought crazy, cool gifts.  To me, the most special gift to each of us was a fossilized shark tooth on lanyards.  Homer's mother, Elsie, had gathered them as she walked the beaches.  If you've read the book "Rocket Boys", you'll have an idea and a picture in your head of Elsie, and you'll appreciate what the walks must've been for her, yielding more than the fossilized sharks' teeth.  Anyway, they're stunning, and I'll add a picture here in a little bit. 

Also, there were fireworks!! A lot of fireworks, some for Angus, some for all of us.  We don't usually have fireworks here, because it's generally too dry in July, so this was an occasion.  There were pirate tattoos and Toy Story 3 figures for Angus:

and a Zhu-Zhu Pet with wardrobe, for Maggie!  (We didn't know what a Zhu-Zhu pet was, but Linda had asked a little girl in the store who was about Maggie's age what would be a good gift and was immediately educated about these little creatures.)  It really sort of scurries and squeaks, and I believe Homer referred to it as a gopher; a hot pink gopher with a cowboy outfit, of all things...

(Please excuse the very dirty face on this child.  I'm starting to think she produces a dirt coating, like frogs produce a slime coating, to protect her from truly dangerous substances like soap....)

For me, there was a martini shaker and something really wild:  a recipe for a signature drink, developed by some bartenders in Huntsville, just for me!  I love that!  Linda brought the napkin they wrote the recipe on and everything! 

It's called A Random Act of Violette.

For those who enjoy cocktails, here's the recipe:

1 1/4 oz Creme de Violette (only recently available in the U.S.)

1 1/4 Ciroc Red Berry

3/4 oz sour mix

1/2 oz soda

I believe it's mixed like a martini, but that wasn't on the napkin.

She told me that she'd given the bartenders ideas about my personality and life, and that they'd worked on it for some time, coming back to ask questions.  I'm really flattered there's Creme de Violette in the recipe, because that's a very rare, delicate liquor that is difficult to obtain, even in France, where it originates.  There are only three or four distilleries that even produce it, using a specific violet for its distinctive flavour.  *sigh*

It's classier than I deserve....

Anyway, now that I'm done with that little lesson....

Linda showed me how to make martinis. 

I've never made them, thinking they were too difficult, but she declared that even I could do it.

She made Cosmopolitan martinis, and they were lovely, just like her!

We didn't take enough pictures...we never do.

We always end up having too much fun visiting and just forget to pick up the camera.

Maggie squeezed her way between Homer and Linda, with her Zhu-Zhu pet, Sparkle and a kitten named Indiana Jones (because of his adventurous spirit) and proceeded to inform them of dinosaurs that hadn't been discovered yet.  She was, and still is, thrilled to her toes that we had REAL dinosaur hunters at our house!

If you're wondering what in the world Homer has perched on his ear, it's a dinosaur headlamp that the kids picked out for him. (And Linda and Frank, too.)  It gives off about enough light to allow you to see your watch...maybe...if you hold it right next to your eye.  They thought it would be handy if the dinosaur hunters ever got caught out in the field at night.  Right.

Linda wanted to help feed the bums, and I was very happy to share that experience with her.

(It's what we have ALL our guests do; right, Susie K.?)

They were on their best behavior and didn't slobber all over her TOO badly...

The evening just flew by!

Before we knew it, it was dusk...close enough to dark for the kids to start bouncing around, requesting fireworks!!!

The sky was incredible, that evening.  There was a big storm, rolling through to the South of us, and double rainbows.

The fireworks scared the cows in the pasture next to our house; they all went charging to the corner of the field, bawling and carrying on...

It was a good, good visit.  I wish we had more time...maybe two evenings...but this is such a treat, every year that I hate to get greedy.

We're talking about descending on Frank, in Bozeman, in August and would really love to get to Huntsville someday, to see Hickams in their native habitat.  :)

Come back soon!

Independence Day, Montana small town style...

Wayland and the kids, headed to the VFW hall to meet Grammy Karen for the parade. 

The hats make me laugh, because they're so....used up, for lack of a better description. My kids aren't really all that particular about their hats and it makes me nuts.  For the longest time, Angus wore his cowboy hat backwards...deliberately!  He thought it looked better that way.

They wanted to wear cowboy clothes, because Cowboy PopPops was taking them riding after the parade...thrills!

The Jordan VFW has erected a really wonderful memorial for all the men and women in the county who have served and are continuing to serve our country in all branches of the armed forces.  You can't see the wall of names, but it starts with the Civil War and continues through to those currently serving.  We stop and look at the names, often; the kids find names of their grandpas, aunts, uncles and cousins, and we visit about what it means to be in the service.  It's such a good thing, that they have an appreciation for who has provided the freedoms we enjoy. 

Anyway, this is a metal statue that's part of the memorial and the kids are entranced by it.  We say hello to the soldiers every time we go to town, even if we are just driving by.

Waiting for the parade!  They came home with quite a haul of candy, actually.  What am I going to do with 25 pounds of Starburst and Tootsie Roll candies?

 Cowboy PopPops, bearing the American flag, riding Doc (I think)!  We're so proud of him!

It's really a tiny parade, mostly made up of the old car poker run, but this year there were kids on bikes and a great float from the greenhouse!

And every year, the VFW has a float with all the veterans they can gather up.  This year, we got to the VFW hall pretty early, so the kids went in and visited with them.  I went in to check on them and found a whole row of veterans listening to Maggie and Angus telling big stories and asking questions.  I don't think they could probably hear much, but they were just so pleased to have the kids there!  When they all came out to get on the float, we had to sort the kids out; I truly believe they'd have just tromped right up the ramp and ridden the float with their veteran friends!  Being friendly with soldiers really pays, too....the Pluhar kids got double candy rations. 

I love the following pictures, of the kids watching their Cowboy PopPops in the parade!

 And here's the riding!  It was so nice of Dad to load up an extra horse to give them rides.  Isn't the country beautiful and green?  It was a lovely 4th of July...only in the low 80's. 

Grammy Karen hugged the one left behind, who maybe felt a little sad...

It's the boy's turn! 

And Maggie gets the hug, this time!

I don't think Angus stopped smiling, from the time he was boosted up on the saddle until he was walking away from the horse trailer...

Time to load up...

This makes me laugh!  Ace, rolling his eyes at us.  He was pretty bouncy that morning and thought hauling kids around was a pile of nonsense. 

We returned home, took big naps and had fireworks that night...it was a really great 4th of July!

Mr. Toad

I'm working backward on blog posts, here....newest to oldest.

Work with me...

We have big, fat toads in our yard.

18 ounce toads...

Sumo wrestler toads...

They're so hefty, they can't get away from the kids and we've enjoyed the company of several in the last week or two.

(The tattoo on Angus' cheek?  You'll get that story later.  I promise!)

This picture cracks me up, everytime I look at it! 

Mr. Toad is less than impressed. 

I can't tell if he's smiling for the camera or not...

If Maggie had happened to be wearing a dress, this would be one of those fairytale princess pictures!  As it is, it's really more of a farmgirl telling a toad a dreadfully long and wild story.  Mr. Toad is pretending to be interested, because really, he has no choice but to sit there and take it...

To complete the humiliating experience, Mr. Toad was given a hollyhock leaf hat.  It could've been worse, I think; no self-respecting toad could go back home with remnants of flower pollen on him.  Can you imagine the scene, when Mrs. Toad discovered THAT?!

Toads are ticklish! 

Released, at last, back to the wilds of the yard! 

(Some of my friends have seen these pictures on Face Book, but I prefer them here.  It's more...me; more personal and fun! )

Small town newspapers are endlessly amusing to me.
(And when I say "small town", I'm talking 2000 subscribers or less.)
If I want world events, state headlines, sports scores or anything official, I read the major papers or watch the evening news; if I want to chuckle all day or get really worked up about an editorial, I read the little rags. 

I read The Jordan Tribune, The Lewistown News-Argus, and The Miles City Star, fairly regularly and can recommend all three for their entertainment value. 

The Argus recently did some hard-hitting reporting on the school levies this spring and the comments on-line with regards to these articles were so passionate that I got sucked in to the drama and would stomp around the house, kicking the cat and writing diatribes in my head as responses.  And it wasn't even my school system or taxes that were being impacted! June has been a slow "news" month, though, and the political hecklers on the forum are beside themselves with the lack of fodder.  The other thing I like about the Argus is that they include all the little area communities, with neighborly news on births, deaths and pancake suppers. 

The Tribune is by far the most fun to read, and not just because I know every single person mentioned or photographed. This morning, for instance, I read about two guys who are biking from Oregon to Maine and decided to spend the night in Jordan; they made the front page with a FOUR column article! You can imagine how exciting it was for our action news reporter to encounter news of this magnitude.  An excerpt of the article: 

"Then Van Donge (one of the cyclists) passionately recalled the one day, 100 mile jaunt from Fort Benton to Lewistown.  Leaving early in the morning he said they biked uphill on a windy, narrow road, with a continuously steep grade and were also buffeted by a stiff headwind.  They both described that episode as a treacherous challenge."

You don't get descriptive writing like THAT in the Billings Gazette or Denver Post, now.  (I don't know as they got that sort of coverage in Lewistown.  I doubt it.  I'm sure the Argus would've had the article on-line if they'd snagged this lead.) 

I also think the full page spread showcasing pictures of flower beds and fields was inspired.  They lose a little impact when printed in black and white, but still are very satisfying as a pictoral representation of the growth in our community.  Literally.

Our police blotter is published under the column headline "Naughty, Naughty!" and lists traffic violations for the most part.  There's no real crime to speak of in Jordan; at least none that will get published.  Occasionally, there will be a listing of an MIP (Minor In Possession of alcohol) or a disorderly conduct, but those are rare and noteworthy. 

There are invitations extended to the readership of the Tribune for weddings and baby showers, which is neighborly and eliminates hurt feelings over who got invited and who didn't.  Besides, we'll all show up anyway.  It's nice not to have to call all over creation to figure out the time and date. 

There are TEN churches whose schedules are listed in the Tribune.  Isn't that great?  I mean, in a town of 500, that's pretty impressive! 

School board and county commissioner meeting minutes are published, as well as those of the Blackfoot Home Demonstration Club.  I love the BHDC minutes!  They always call their club meetings to order and take roll with questions such as "What is your favorite rhubarb recipe?".  I'm so envious of the ladies of that club; partly because they have, without a doubt, the best refreshments of any club in a three county area and partly because they have so much fun opening a meeting.  I always wonder what the responses are and what luscious rhubarb dishes they brought to the meeting to back it up. 

I don't want you to think I'm making fun of the local papers or criticizing them in any way.  I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to put out any sort of paper, week after week, in these little towns.  I just enjoy the peculiar little ways they do it, the response of the people reading them and the comfortable feeling of knowing that no matter what is going on in Greece or Washington D.C., the little towns in Montana will be keeping their subscribers informed of the truly important things in life: Margie's rhubarb crunch recipe.